E130 - Lessons from Freeman Beals: Rewiring the Mind

What if the reason you’re not following through isn’t laziness or poor planning—but a hidden program that takes over under stress? That question drives this solo recap of my conversation with Freeman Beals, where we reconnect after two years to explore how stress tools evolve when life changes and why the subconscious often wins the moment your emotions spike.

We dig into the gap between knowing and doing, especially for parents and business owners who juggle real-world demands. I unpack three core takeaways. First, you can’t think your way out of a subconscious problem: if you know the play but still freeze, there’s a belief or pattern underneath that needs updating. Second, you can rewrite the story of your past by changing what events mean—shifting failure from a verdict to a training run frees you to take bigger swings without the old weight. Third, quick, tangible state shifts are possible: a guided exercise using imagery, distance, breath, and posture can cool a hot emotion in minutes and get you back to action.

Freeman’s journey—from stress management coach to subconscious reprogramming for business-owning dads—mirrors a truth many of us feel: life stages change the game, and our tools have to change with it. We talk about eustress vs distress, gratitude and movement for brain rewiring, and why conscious systems like time blocking and reframing still matter—just not on their own. The real unlock comes from marrying structure with deeper meaning work, so your nervous system supports your goals instead of hijacking them.

If you’ve been stuck in that loop where you know better but can’t seem to do better, this conversation offers a practical path forward. I share the live drill that shifted my own anxiety on air, plus simple steps you can use today to reframe, reset, and reengage. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a quick review—what belief are you ready to rewrite?

Chapters

• 3:49 Welcome & Big Question
• 4:19 Who Freeman Is Now
• 5:14 Conscious Tools vs Subconscious Programs
• 7:10 Takeaway 1: You Can’t Think It Away
• 8:40 Takeaway 2: Rewrite Past Meanings
• 10:04 Takeaway 3: Fast State Shifts
• 11:12 Bridging Theory With Real Life

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 1:55

What's going on, guys, and welcome back to a solo recap episode. And I'm excited because if you haven't checked out this week's episode, you gotta go do it now. Um, it was really awesome. And I'm gonna kick things off by asking you a quick question. What if the biggest thing holding you back from showing up as the parent, the partner, or the leader that you want to be isn't what you know, but what's running quietly in the background of your mind? See, this week on Surviving Side Hustle, I had the privilege of reconnecting with Freeman Beals, someone who first joined me all the way back in episode seven. Back then, we dove deep into the stress management world, not about how to avoid stress, but about how to use it as fuel. He taught us how to distinguish between eustress, which is the kind that gives us growth or drives growth, I guess, and distress, which is the kind that drags you down. We also talked about how gratitude and movement rewires your brain and his stop STOP framework for breaking negative spirals. Fast forward to just about two years, a little over two years, Friedman's life looks very different now. He's the father, he's stepped away from coaching for a little while, and then he returned with a whole new approach. This time, our conversation wasn't just about managing stress, it was about understanding the subconscious programming behind how we think, react, and show up every day. See, listening to Freeman share his story about becoming a dad and suddenly feeling emotional responses he'd never experienced before, like moments of frustration or even anger, hit home for me. I've had my own seasons where life shifted and how I reacted under pressure. And like Freeman, I had to learn that knowing all the right tools consciously doesn't guarantee that you're going to use them when you're triggered and when the situations arise. As a coach, this was a reminder that conscious strategies like time blocking, planning, reframing, and breathing are powerful, but there's a deeper layer. If your subconscious playlist is cued up with the wrong tracks, you'll keep getting the same unhelpful responses no matter how much you know better. Three takeaways from my conversation with uh Freeman from this call this call, and how potentially you can implement them and into your everyday life and such. The first thing that I took away was you can't think your way out of a subconscious problem. See, Freeman said it perfectly. He said, if you know what to do, but you're not doing it, you know you're dealing with a subconscious problem. This shows up in my clients all the time. They know that they should make time or for the sales calls or go to the gym or shut the laptop by 8 p.m. But they don't. And that's not laziness, that's not like just being out of track, that's programming at the end of the day. In my own performance work, I teach conscious systems. But hearing Freeman reinforce for me that when those systems fail, the next step isn't try harder. It's digging into the beliefs, the patterns, and the meanings underneath it. Second takeaway I had from our conversation was you can rewrite the story of your past. One of the most powerful parts of our conversation was Freeman explaining that we're not defined by our past experiences. We're defined by what we believe those experiences mean. Change the meaning, and you change the way you show up in the future. I've seen this when entrepreneurs reframe past failures as training runs instead of proof that they're not good enough. The reframing frees them up to take bigger swings without carrying the old weight. And the third thing that I took away from my conversation, my second conversation with Freeman, I should say, is quick, tangible shifts are possible. Freeman walked me through a live exercise during the episode in real time. He helped me make a recent moment of anxiety, visualize it differently, and push it so far into mental distance that the emotion lost its grip. I literally felt the posture change and this weird sensation on my brain. It was like these little tingling, kind of like washing over. It was really interesting. And this reminded me of the first time that I learned micro recovery drills for physical training. You can shift the state quickly if you know the right levers to pull. And for business owners, this is huge. It means you can course correct in the middle of a stressful day instead of waiting for a reset that never actually comes. What I loved most about this episode, besides the fact of bringing back a good buddy of mine after a while, was that how it bridged the mindset theory with lived reality. Freeman's shift from stress management coach to subconscious reprogramming for business-owning dads showed the power of evolving with your life stage instead of clinging to an old identity. I've experienced that myself, moving from strength and conditioning into high performance and mindset work after my own life event shook up my perspectives. So if you've been in a stuck in this loop where you know better, but you can't seem to do better, this episode is a must listen for you. And if you want to experience what I did in that live demo, Freeman has a free version of the exercise available. And I'll link it in the show notes so you guys can check that out. Now, Freeman reminded me of something that I'll carry forward in my own coaching. Every emotion has value. The goal isn't to erase the quote unquote negative ones, it's to dial them into a range where they help you instead of hijack you. So until next time, guys, peace, peace, peace, peace, and have a good one.