Surviving the Side Hustle

E124 - Lessons from Ellen Silverman: Resilience Sells

• Coach Rob • Season 1 • Episode 124

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What if the outcome of your next big move has less to do with timing and more to do with how you show up? We revisit our conversation with Ellen Silverman—who left three decades in banking to thrive as a New York City real estate agent—and unpack the habits that make reinvention stick in one of the toughest markets on earth. The story isn’t about listings; it’s about discipline that builds resilience, communication that creates trust, and the decision to stop outsourcing your confidence to headlines and doubters.

We break down a practical playbook you can use this week. You’ll hear how Ellen treats real estate like a true nine-to-five, even in slow seasons, and how that structure turns uncertainty into forward motion. We explore why texts and DMs may be the norm, but real connection still comes from better questions, cleaner follow-ups, and active listening. If you’re spinning your wheels with busywork, you’ll learn how to build simple systems—client FAQs, pipeline hygiene, recurring check-ins—that compound results without burning you out.

The conversation also tackles comparison and the quiet ways we give away our power. Ellen once assumed others knew more; now she trusts her judgment and filters the noise. We offer a weekly challenge to cut one source of distraction and replace it with one step toward your vision. Whether you’re buying or selling in NYC, growing a side hustle, or navigating a career pivot, these tools translate. If you want Ellen’s buyer’s guide or have questions about the market, she’s open to chat—and so are we.

If the episode hits home, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs a nudge, and leave a quick review telling us the one habit you’ll try this week. Your feedback helps more builders, buyers, and career shifters find the tools they need to move forward.

SPEAKER_00:

What's going on and welcome back to a Friday recap episode. This week we are recapping the conversation with Ellen Silverman. And the question I got to ask you is: what if the biggest factor in buying or selling your home isn't just the property itself, but the people skills and resilience you bring to the process? That's one of the insights that I took away from my conversation with Ellen this past week. She is a former Wall Street professional who reinvented herself as a successful New York City real estate agent. So a little background on Ellen, she spent 30 years in banking and finance before deciding it was time for a new chapter. As a native New Yorker with a love for design, architecture, and numbers, real estate became her next career. She navigated the city's transformation from a rental heavy market to today's high stakes, high demand landscape. What makes her story powerful is how she transitioned from an introvert in a sales job to a trusted guide for buyers and sellers in one of the toughest markets in the world. Three key takeaways for you guys. Number one being discipline fuels resilience. Ellen credits her banking background for giving her discipline to treat real estate like a nine-to-five job, showing up daily, hitting self-imposed deadlines, and writing out the ups and downs. So for yourself and how you can think about how discipline refuels res or fuels resilience. I know for myself it's super, super difficult to kind of go into a slower season, especially back when I was personal training, holidays, even the summer was difficult. But then being able to stay disciplined and knowing that the busier seasons, like getting ready for the holidays and getting ready for the other things, was where you needed to kind of stay on track. And then during the slow seasons, it was important to make sure that I started filling some of that gap or free time back with stuff that would help me become a better individual and a coach. I know for myself right now, I'm working on keeping the discipline for with my virtual assistants, making sure that I get the systems in process in place and then being able to build new processes and moving into the next level. So it's for me, it's about how do I stick to this process, how do I create this process, and then how do I evolve it to make things a little bit smoother? So the second takeaway I got for you is communication has changed, but connection still matters. Phone calls are out. You know, texts, DMs, and like even WhatsApp dominate in today's world and society. But Ellen stressed the importance of real conversations, whether face-to-face at open houses or through thoughtful questions that go beyond just the surface. And you want to think like, okay, well, how can you improve the quality of your communication this week instead of just increasing the quantity? A lot of people with their side hustles and projects are trying to generate momentum. Comes down to having more conversations with people. You got to get out there, you gotta connect with more individuals, you gotta gather information, you gotta listen. So, like, how do you improve your communication skills? Is it do you have to practice your active listening a little bit? Do you have to slow things down and pay attention when you are connecting with individuals? Or maybe it's a follow-up. Like maybe you are out already having a lot of conversations and you're connecting with people, but then maybe you're just leaving the follow-up on the table and forgetting to touch base again or to check in down the road. Or maybe it's even just like having better questions for the coffee conversations or sales calls that you're going on. Think about that and figure out where you can improve for yourself. And the third takeaway is don't give your power away. One of Ellen's biggest lessons was that you can't let naysayers, news cycles, or comparison rob you of your confidence. She admitted early on she believed that everyone else must know more than she does, but now she trusts her own instincts and path. So for yourself, like where are you giving your power away by assuming others know more than you? This is this is a tough one because curse of knowledge one on one hand, and then just imposter phenomenon on the other side. But think about yourself and where where might you be kind of defaulting or kind of letting go and giving your power away. And uh I wanted to share with you guys that the conversation with Ellen is important to go back and listen to if you haven't already. Um because it really lands. Like a lot of the things that she talked about and I shared on that episode connects with so many of us, whether you are in real estate coaching, or you're just like starting your own business, or you even just have your side hustle, or maybe you don't even have a side hustle yet. Maybe you're just have a hobby that you're working on a project. The struggle with comparison and doubt is real. And uh, Ellen's story is proof that passion, persistence, and self-trust can carry you through some of the toughest transitions. Um, and Ellen left us with a piece of advice that towards the end of the episode. She said to don't give up, believe in yourself and stop listening to the noise. Everyone has an opinion, but your path is your path. So cool and good to listen to other people, especially those who do care about you and want to see you succeed and don't want to see you get hurt. But it is important to keep your eyes on your path. And because sometimes when people are sharing things because to not see you get hurt, that might be something that kind of slows you down a little bit. Um, so if you're considering buying or selling in New York, make sure you do give Ellen a shout out and follow her on Instagram. Her handle is at Ellen J Silverman. Um, or you can connect with her through Compass. Even if you're not ready to buy or sell or anything, she's open to sharing her buyer's guide and answer any kind of questions you might have about the market down in New York City. But she was also pretty cool to chat with, like offline too. So she's someone who I would just call up to grab coffee with or just to check in with. And she's very easy to communicate with. So if you are a text DM kind of person, just shoot her a message, tell her you saw the episode and um tell her what you thought about it, or even shoot me a message too, and tell me what you thought about the episode. Um, and I got one last thing for you challenge of the week. If you listen to this and got this far into it, trust yourself a little bit more. Cut out one piece of noise, whether it's the news, social media, or it's a doubter in your circle, and then see if you can try to replace it with one small step towards your own vision. I'm not a fan of burning bridges and cutting off relationships, but if it's the news, social media, like like unfollowing certain accounts, or maybe it's not to call that certain friend anymore. Try to find something that you can replace that attention that'll move you closer to your vision. Until next time, guys. Uh hope you enjoyed it. Let me know what you thought. And peace, peace, peace, peace.