E114 - Lessons from Emily Erstad: Growing Through Challenge

What if leadership isn't about perfection but vulnerability? In this revealing conversation with Emily Erstad—speech pathologist, hospice leader, and author of "It's Not That Deep"—we explore how the messy, uncomfortable parts of our journeys actually become our greatest strengths.

Emily's powerful story traces her path from the Midwest to Montana to Tucson, where each bold move forced deeper self-awareness and leadership growth. Her writing journey—from personal expression to published author—demonstrates how vulnerability creates authentic connections. Throughout our discussion, three game-changing insights emerge that could transform your approach to leadership and fulfillment.

First, timing truly is everything. Emily shares how even the most promising projects falter when forced at the wrong time. I reflect on my own supplement line launch, where poor timing meant extraordinary effort just to stay afloat. The key question becomes: where might you be pushing against closed doors when redirecting that energy could create better outcomes?

Second, vulnerability creates influence. Though Emily admits she doesn't naturally trust easily, her willingness to open up has deepened her connections with staff and readers alike. This mirrors my mentor Brett's experience during his divorce—when he stopped hiding behind professionalism and shared authentically, his impact actually expanded. Where might you be holding back out of fear when showing your true self could create deeper connections?

Finally, intentional discomfort accelerates growth. From relocations to publishing her unfiltered thoughts, Emily consistently chooses challenge over comfort. This principle works in small ways too—like my recent experiment with cold-start morning showers to build resilience during an otherwise smooth period in business. The growth comes not from celebration but from challenge.

Grab your copy of "It's Not That Deep" on Amazon for both inspiration and practical emotional intelligence strategies. And remember—your breakthrough likely lives on the other side of the discomfort you've been avoiding. What intentional discomfort will you embrace this week?

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Emily Erstad
• 4:56 Timing Is Everything
• 6:52 Vulnerability as Leadership Strength
• 8:28 Intentional Discomfort Builds Growth
• 10:41 Final Reflections and Book Recommendation

Transcript

Speaker 1: 1:58

Yo, what's up? What if the key to leadership and fulfillment isn't having it all figured out, but being willing to stay vulnerable, take risks and trust yourself through the process? That's exactly what I took away from my conversation with this week's guest, emily Erstad, a speech pathologist, hospice leader and the author of it's Not that Deep. Emily's journey is powerful because it's not a straight line From the Midwest to Montana, then to Tucson. She made bold moves that forced her to confront who she was, what she valued and how she wanted to lead. Along the way, she leaned into writing as a tool for self-expression, eventually publishing her first book and now already working on her second. What stood out most wasn't just her accomplishments, though, but her honesty about the struggles, vulnerability, timing and the messy process of learning who you are while leading others. During our conversation, I had three main takeaways, the first one being timing really is everything. Emily reminded us that you can run fast, but if the timing is off, things just won't click. Sometimes a launch, a project or even a personal move doesn't land because it's simply not the season for it yet. So I want you to think about this when in your life might you be pushing hard on something when the timing just isn't right, and how could you redirect that instead of forcing it? I'll tell you what.

Speaker 1: 3:41

I've started a lot of different projects myself over the years and the timing just really wasn't the best. That didn't mean things crash and burned, it just meant that I had to work even harder, struggle even more and balance and juggle a lot of other things just to make it float. For example, the supplements. When I first started my supplement line, I was parking crazy long hours just trying to research good manufacturers, and it was tough because I had to dish out a lot of money to make the minimum order quantity right off the bat. And then eventually things started getting a little bit better, smoother out, that could research more things created, chocolate, protein, and then now, all of a sudden, I'm up to about 32 different products, including greens and sleep support, creatine all this great stuff. And now the timing is a little bit better. I was able to dedicate more towards the marketing and such. So remember, ask yourself the same thing when in your life might you be pushing hard on something? And even though the timing just isn't that right, and how could you redirect it instead of forcing it?

Speaker 1: 4:51

The second lesson that I learned with my conversation with Emily was that vulnerability is a leadership strength. Emily openly admitted that she doesn't naturally trust easily and often prefers to keep to herself, but by leaning into vulnerability she's discovered deeper connections with her staff, her peers and even her readers. Vulnerability isn't weakness. It's the doorway to authentic influence. So think to yourself why are you currently holding back out of fear of being too much? And what would happen if you showed more of your authentic self instead? This reminds me of a great conversation I had with one of my mentors, brett. He was really pushing on being a vulnerable because he was going through a tough time going through a divorce and as a conflict resolution specialist, communication specialist whatever kind of title you want to give him, he said it was kind of tough at first because he was wondering what other people were going to think. Then he realized that he could just lean into that and share that with the world and show that his authentic self. And I think what happened was a lot of people reached out to him, not only to check in and see how things that were going with him and his family, but also to share their experiences, and that led to so many more conversations. So think to yourself where are you currently holding back out of fear of being too much?

Speaker 1: 6:26

And the third takeaway that I had from my conversation with Emily was intentional discomfort builds growth. From moving across the country to publishing a book, that was basically her live stream consciousness Emily has repeatedly chosen discomfort over stagnation. Her reminder was clear Growth doesn't come from celebration, it comes from challenge. So think of yourself again. What's one intentional discomfort you could add to your week? It could be like a cold shower, a tough conversation or journaling about something you've been avoiding.

Speaker 1: 7:08

I shared before that I was kind of in a reflection period of my time, kind of looking back on a lot of different things. Maybe a little bit of gratitude was going on, but I was reflecting and I realized that things were going pretty smoothly for myself. I was steadily onboarding one to two new clients per week. Current clients that I was working with were really happy and things were going well. Everyone was seeming to have a lot of success and a lot of the different things on social media and events I was going to all seemed to be flowing pretty smoothly.

Speaker 1: 7:40

And I was worried because it seemed like things were pretty smooth and what I started doing because I already do a cold blast at the end of my showers is I decided that I was going to jump into the shower on the cold instead of letting myself warm up first, and I did that for a couple of weeks and that really brought a lot of discomfort into my mornings, especially at like four o'clock in the morning when I was getting ready. But it was a great way for me to kind of push and challenge myself in a safe environment and really build that resilience muscle, and I absolutely love that because that's exactly where I'm always constantly sharing too how you're really just like continue to grow through the challenge and not celebration. So you want to look for those little spots. So again, remember, ask yourself where's one way that you can intentionally add discomfort into your week and just to kind of bring things back here. As I'm reflecting on a conversation and listening to Emily, I was reminded of my own growth as a speaker too.

Speaker 1: 8:51

The nerves before stepping out onto stage felt just like fear, until I realized that they were the same sensation as excitement. That reframe turned that discomfort into fuel, and Emily's story echoes the same truth. Things that we're most afraid of often turn into breakthroughs that we need most. So if you're in a season of feeling stuck, uninspired or unsure of who you are, take Emily's advice Don't sit back and wait for permission. Do the uncomfortable thing, reflect on it and trust that timing and vulnerability will shape the outcome. Don't forget her book. It's not that deep. It's a great starting point if you want both inspiration and practical strategies for emotional intelligence in leadership. If you're interested in grabbing your own copy, head over to amazon and and if you read it, reach out to Emily and let her know how it landed for you, because sometimes the best leadership lessons isn't about getting it all perfect. It's about being willing to show up as you are, keep learning and keep moving forward. Till next time, guys. Peace, peace, peace.