Surviving the Side Hustle

Finding Purpose at 53: John Graham's Journey from Multifarious Careers to Homelessness Advocacy and Community Transformation

• Coach Rob • Season 1 • Episode 63

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What happens when a door-to-door salesman, firefighter, journalist, and minister finds his true calling at 53? Meet John David Graham, a remarkable man whose varied career path led him to become a dedicated advocate for the homeless. Tune in as John shares his riveting journey, from experiencing homelessness himself to establishing the Good Samaritan Home, a nonprofit that has transformed countless lives by providing refuge and a path to reintegration for over 2,400 men and women. Discover how John and his wife turned the oldest house in town into a beacon of hope, expanding to 19 houses across three counties over 22 years.

John's story is a testament to perseverance amidst adversity. Initially met with resistance and skepticism from the community, John faced legal challenges and backlash. However, his unwavering dedication and commitment to community engagement gradually turned critics into supporters. Learn about the unique blend of skills from his construction and journalism background that empowered this incredible initiative, showcasing the power of community integration in successful rehabilitation efforts. John's journey from doubt to acceptance highlights the transformative potential of goodwill and relentless effort.

Beyond providing basic necessities, the Good Samaritan Home emphasizes mentoring and guiding individuals towards self-sufficiency. John shares touching accounts of lives changed through compassion and support, underscoring the holistic approach of the organization. Alongside his advocacy, John navigated the world of self-publishing with his book "Running as Fast as I Can," gaining insights and credibility through collaboration with a skilled team. Join us as we explore John’s profound experiences and lessons, from personal growth to professional milestones, offering inspiration for those seeking to make a meaningful difference.

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Rob:

Guys, what's going on Today? We've got John on the show. John's an interesting individual who we've recently connected with and I'd love to dive in. Man, how are you doing today?

John:

Well, actually it's one of those strange days where I get up and I say what day is this and who am I? Because when you run a business, you end up going six different directions on any given hour, let alone day, and so it's been an interesting journey, to say the least.

Rob:

Yeah, I can totally relate to that. As a lot of the listeners know my situation, I used to be in a spot where every day was essentially a Wednesday. It just so happens to be a Wednesday when the time was recording this. But back in the day it was wake up every single day. There was no weekend in sight, no weekend behind. It was just like middle of the week every single morning. But that comes with it in the beginning when you're kind of grinding. The important thing, for me at least, is making sure that I don't get caught in that and I see different things. But before I go off on a tangent, john, why don't you introduce yourself to the listeners so we know who we're chatting with today?

John:

I'm John Graham and let me just give a little background, if I may. My journey is. My resume is very unusual in that I was I've had a lot of different career changes, shall we say, because I was a door to door salesman, I was a children's home counselor, I was a fireman, I was a truck driver, I was a journalist, I was even a minister for a short time. And I went through all these careers, trying to fit in, trying to find out where my niche was.

John:

And by the time I hit 53, where most people are looking at retirement, I was still trying to find my place. And that's when my wife and I decided to do what our passion was. And we'd always had a passion to help homeless people, because at one point early on I was homeless myself. So I understand how somebody feels when they look at the weather and say where am I going to sleep tonight? You know where am I going to eat, and I know what it's like to have people say tonight you know where am I going to eat, and I know what it's like to have people say get out of here, you don't belong here, guy, so you can't worry about getting a job, when you have to find out where you're going to sleep.

John:

So my wife and I decided to do something off the grid and that was to open our own homeless shelter and try to help people who were going through what we had been through. And we bought the oldest house in town and, because of my construction background, I started to remodel it and I promised her I'd have it done in three months. 14 years later, we were still working on it, of course, but we opened our house to actually one of our bedrooms to homeless people. But there was such a demand that within a short time we are able to expand and get another house. And after a couple of years the Department of Correction came to us and said would you help us? Because we have low level offenders who are homeless and if they could just have a place to stay, then they could get a job and then they could become taxpayers instead of tax burdens.

John:

So I was 53 years old and we started working with the Department of Correction and we went from my house to 19 houses in three counties with a staff of 10 people, and in the past 22 years we've helped, house and mentor more than 2,400 men and women coming from prison. That's been a very, very gratifying feeling to know that I was able to make a difference with somebody. So you know the story is unusual. I'm 76 years old now and the idea of retiring is just not something you contemplate. Even a day off, you do what the need is and when the need is, and so that's how we run our. It's called Good Samaritan Home and it's a nonprofit corporation, and the truth is that we're probably one of the most stable housing options in the entire southwest corner of Ohio.

John:

So, I'm very pleased with my staff and the work they've been able to do to carry on my vision to do to carry on my vision?

Rob:

Yeah, that's incredible. That's a lot of lives you've impacted in such a positive manner. That really is truly crazy. That's really impressive. And before we kind of go down that, I want to take a step back there, because you had mentioned a lot of the different career paths that you had gone down and dabbled into. Do you think because there are probably other careers that are similar to what you're doing, as in like? I guess your role currently is like a manager or a CEO with the corporation? You're kind of helping it continue to grow and run smoothly Were you in any other positions during your first 55 years of life when you were going through the different careers? Were you in other positions where you were also managing and kind of seeing things run and grow and did it just not seem like the right fit?

Rob:

because it wasn't specifically something.

John:

To be candid, I was never comfortable working for somebody else. I always had a better way to do something, a different way, and it wasn't necessarily better, but I thought it was at the time. And the trouble with being innovative is that you want to go off on your own because everybody in contracting in construction business thinks that he can be a major player in the building business and they find out that you've got to work 23 out of 24 hours every day and you have to be a hustler. If you work for yourself, you work far harder than you would if you work for somebody else, and your boss is always a jerk when you work for yourself. So, but my, my point is that, uh, my construction background running that business and it is it was fairly successful, knowing that the ups and downs of the building business, but it taught me how to work hard and so, uh, and then my journalism background taught me how to communicate and work within the community, particularly within government. And the truth is that when I was a journalist, I learned more about government than I ever realized, working with city managers and and department heads and people who worked in on the street level of every department. So all of those things came into play when I started Good Samaritan Home, because I had to learn how to initially write grants and I had to learn how to manage people and I had to learn how to look for opportunities because the first five years there was literally no salary. Our income corporate income was only $5,000 a year. So my wife worked at McDonald's and that's how we survived. But eventually we were able to build up and build up and instead we went from having one bed that the state would would call a per diem and we went from one bed to up to now we have upwards of 70 or 75 beds that we contract today to provide for the state of Ohio.

John:

And the best thing is that by contracting with someone like us, it technically is called a vendor. Contracting with someone like us, technically it's called a vendor and its housing cost is half what it would be for someone in jail. And not only that, but they are able to go get a job and when they get a job they can save their money and buy things, pay child support, save their money and buy things, pay child support, pay for gasoline for their car. They can do all the things that you and I do in the community. So they become taxpayers instead of tax burdens. And someone could stay with us three months or six months, maybe a year and some longer until they're stable enough to get on their feet. Year and some longer until they're stable enough to get on their feet. So I call it. It's economically conservative enough for Republicans and it's socially conscious enough for Democrats, so everybody wins.

Rob:

Yeah, it's a win-win all around.

Rob:

All of those turns that I mentioned what I thought were false turns actually gave me some skills that I helped make Good Samaritan work today, and yeah, that's a great way to look at it too, because I've worked with a lot of different individuals who've been in positions that they felt they were stuck in and there was no room for growth, and trying to help them kind of look at it while they're going through transition periods of like, okay, well, what did you learn from those different things, what kind of awareness did you learn or skills or things can you carry over? And it's good.

John:

So when you can go through a lot of different experiences and come out on the other side with a lot more skills and tools in your toolbox, it really helps kind of craft the ideal position for you, I guess, and I'm glad that you were able to eventually get around and finding that and finding the right spot for you and your wife and everybody else, because the thinking is go somewhere else, not in my backyard but the only way that we can successfully rehabilitate is in the community, and so we try to factor in all the safety features and the recidivism rate. The return to prison rate is so low that it verifies it. But when we started there was a lot of blowback from the community. There were petitions, there were council meetings, there were threats, there were newspapers and camera crews on my porch. We ended up being sued by the city three separate times. I had police protection at one council meeting because people were afraid, and what I found was you know, eventually we won the lawsuit and everything went away in time.

John:

But what I found was the best means of winning the community was number one making sure our house was as clean and presentable and a showpiece for the neighborhood and that it was quiet, so it appeared safe and that it was clean. And we're very conscious of perceptions in the community that people feel safe and in fact, one winter when the snow was particularly hard In fact, one winter when the snow was particularly hard I took my snowblower and I would snowblow all the sidewalks in the neighborhood without saying a word. And the idea is that I can talk recidivism all day long and give data, but if I'm a good neighbor, they will hear what I'm saying far better than any words that I could speak, and now those people that were critical are actually our supporters.

John:

So that, to me, is what I consider. Maybe my greatest success is being able to win skeptical neighbors.

Rob:

That's good that you say all that, because the fear is what drives people kind of crazy, because they probably hear criminals or they believe it's unsafe or whatever they might have from their perspective and such. And then you're coming from a place where you're genuinely trying to do good for the community as a whole. You're trying to take the individuals who've been outcasted for maybe some wrong decisions and now trying to help bring them back, trying to help bridge the gap back to building a better community overall. So obviously everybody on the outside is just like what's in it for me? And if they can't, they don't necessarily see that like hey, you're actually creating a better community and they don't believe you until they see you doing doing those things. Then that totally makes sense on how they kind of warmed up and now they see like hey, this is more than just a hangout spot, this place is building better people.

John:

And, to be candid, drugs changed everything. When I was growing up, it was sneaking a beer behind the barn. But today we're dealing with some very, very serious drug issues. And it's not those people in the ghetto of Detroit or New York, it's kids in the neighborhoods of rural Ohio, illinois, kentucky. It's your grandchildren, it's your cousins, it may be your children, it's your grandchildren, it's your cousins.

John:

It may be your children, and everybody has been affected by it. So I would say that about 60 to 80% of what we deal with is drug issues, and then you factor in mental health, which is another whole ball of wax.

Rob:

So I would say we're not dealing so much with criminals as we are dealing with addictions and mental health issues that have become criminogenic. Yeah, yeah, You're so true though, because mental health and addiction that is a huge another kind of topic to kind of get into. But I want to spin this back to more about hearing about the housing and situation you've got going on. Are you doing more than just housing individuals? Are you helping them finding the jobs and kind of moving on to the next stages of where they're currently at?

John:

Well, technically we are not a halfway house. It's someone that's not required. You're not being punished to be here and we're not an off the street homeless shelter where you just get a bed. It's in between. I call it mentoring and that's part of our philosophy. We're not required to go the extra step, but I feel it's part of my faith expression to do more than just give you a plate and a bed hot in a cot. We call it. But the mentoring is where you sit down and actually say how can I help you? I had a pastor come to me once and he said do you ever ask your residents if they're saved? And I said, actually all I ask them is are you hungry, saved? And I said, actually all I ask them is are you hungry? Because their eternal issues are beyond my pay grade. But what is my responsibility is today and now, and I have a feeling that they hear me speak louder than they do him.

Rob:

Yeah, when your needs are right there in front. And yeah, you're trying to focus on hunger and stuff like that and trying to get them rolling into the right direction.

John:

If I can, I can tell you a quick story about that idea of what more we do. We had a man in our house temporarily and he was schizophrenic, so he really struggled. House temporarily and he was schizophrenic, so he really struggled and he left us, went off on his own and ended up on the street sleeping in his truck in the winter below zero, and he was in the hospital because of it, because he nearly died. So the hospital asked us if we'd take him back and I said we will take him back if he will promise to take his psych meds. And the doctors assured that he would. And they did that through a shot and so we made an agreement with him. But he not only came back and stayed with us temporarily, he stayed with us for 14 years. He ended up staying in an apartment of ours and when he died last year he said this was the only home he ever had. So that to me that to me was that made it all worthwhile.

Rob:

Yeah, I bet that's pretty incredible to hear him say and spending that much time. That just goes to show what really helping a lot with uh, with these individuals when you're really extending your arm and helping out. Um, but if I, if I may, can I can I bring us back to a little bit on your story? Uh, because you had a lot of different jobs and you said that the construction really helped you build that grit and resilience. But what, what was it in the beginning? That really what? Like, what got you? What kind of kept pushing you going forward? Or like, can you share where you first started with all your resilience and being able to grind and keep going and pushing through all the tough times?

John:

well, in my novel I have a, I have a statement, the main fictional novel, but the character says something that I think applies to many of us. He said this young boy said at 16, I shared space with people called family. We had the same address, ate at the same table, even had the same last name, address ate at the same table, even had the same last name. But we were strangers. We all lived alone together and that, to be quite candid, was how I grew up. I grew up alone, and not that I was homeless as a child, but I felt, like many families, we were in five different directions. Many families, we were in five different directions. So my overriding goal was to have a family. That I never had. But even though I went to college, I had no direction in college and I graduated with a degree that meant nothing, it couldn't translate into an actual job or I didn't have the structure to know where to go with it. So I ended up going from job to job. The best example is the fireman which is an excellent job.

John:

To be a fireman is a guaranteed income and a guaranteed position in the community for the next 30 years. But I just wanted to do more than in the rural suburban areas. We weren't that busy, it wasn't that dramatic, and so I said I want to do more than just get a paycheck. So I was always looking but never finding the niche I was trying to find, so that was my internal lack of structure.

John:

So that's where the 30 years of wandering came from, going from misdirection to misdirection. Does that, uh, answer to a degree your question, rob?

Rob:

yes, yeah, it sounds like you you were constantly being pushed instead of like grinding through, because when I speak with a lot of different individuals, they have something where they're kind of motivated to kind of keep going. And it sounds like the that you had this internal feeling that you're looking for the structure, this, this family, this connection or like a community in a way, um, and that kind of was pushing you through each different things. And even when you had the things like the comfort of the income and the position and you had that there, you were still striving for more. And you also hinted earlier that you kind of had ways of your own, that you always were trying to push and do different things. So I can see how things are kind of forming through the years. I'm just from the brief information that you're giving me. I'm trying to piece it all together so I can paint the picture for myself.

John:

And, if I can be very candid, I was reared in a conservative Christian background, so I thought that being a minister was the epitome of where you could dedicate your life where you could dedicate your life. But I found that and not to be very careful here. I was disappointed in much of the current church and I found I didn't fit in as I should, and that's part of this disaffection. And so even when I tried being a minister, I wasn't as political as the job required. But I still wanted to make a difference in the community, and so we often look at, try to find the normal ways to help, like work for the job and family services or work for the mental health department, which is all fine, mental health department, which is all fine. But I I found that I.

John:

I was best in creating my own avenue, and that's why we ended up creating Good Samaritan Home, because it can be exactly what I envisioned it to be, and not somebody else's vision. The downside is that you make some mistakes getting there.

Rob:

Yeah, especially when it's just you relying on yourself and you and your wife kind of building and growing it. You have to overcome those mistakes Along the way. What were some of these obstacles or mistakes that you might have gone through Once you started kind of starting the housing and you started growing? Is it other than the lawsuits and those things? They're new issues kind of popping up, because what did you say? You have 70 locations now.

John:

We have 19 houses in three different counties. Ok, the whole concept is that the all the research is showing that incarceration alone doesn't work. There's a need for accountability, there's a need for punishment, but also, with low-level offenders, there's a need for community rehabilitation. And what I found was that my limited family background actually turned out to be an asset, because now I can understand somebody who says I don't know who my father is, or my mother was never home, or I was raised in foster care. There may be more extreme, but I can identify with their angst and that's allowed me to be very sympathetic. So the the operating philosophy we have now is that everybody deserves a second, third or fourth chance, and with drugs in particular, statistically it takes seven times in rehab to overcome an addiction. Wow.

Rob:

I did not know that.

John:

Yeah, nancy Reagan said just say no. But I can guarantee you, rob, it doesn't work that way, nancy Reagan said just say no.

Rob:

But I can guarantee you, rob, it doesn't work that way. Yeah, it's not that easy. Wow. So where are you looking to continue to grow? Because you said retirement's not really in the cards for you. So it sounds like you're so motivated and looking to continue to grow and grow further. What are your next steps?

John:

Well, the next step was I started writing a novel 50 years ago on a Royal typewriter, which I'm sure you don't remember that at all. There was no electricity with it, nothing but a keyboard.

John:

But, I started writing and realized I had nothing to say. So I put that on the shelf and just made notes, just thought. And for the next 40 years I wrote journal notes. And then, when I was 65, I sat down and started to write the story of second chances. And because I found that when I was fighting city hall, I would bring reams of data in and show recidivism rates and show mental health issues, show community rehabilitation, and nobody gives a damn. So what I'm finding is that if I can write a story, a best example.

John:

If you want to talk about cultural inclusion, then Titanic was the perfect story about how the rich and the poor can actually come together and have love for one another if you can overcome social prejudices.

John:

Instead of preaching about the sociology of it, James Cameron presented it in a story form and now millions of people understand that Jack can love Rose and they could actually have a working relationship. So that's what I did in this book. It's called Running as Fast as I Can and it's about a boy who grew up without the structure, without the family, without the skills that he needed, and he spent the rest of his life trying to create what he never had and he felt he was running as fast as I can, but it's never fast enough to catch up to what he called normal people. And what I found is that it's the same story as Good Samaritan Home of second chances. The same story as Good Samaritan Home of Second Chances, but it's told in a way that, now that you know, I've had six or 7,000 books sold so far in the past several months, because people are resonating with the story. So I like to think of it like a form of Titanic.

John:

It's a story people can enjoy, but yet there's still a very good lesson there. It's a story people can enjoy, but yet there's still a very good lesson there, and so that's my new mission is to tell the story of second chances, but in a way that people will not just understand, but to actually enjoy the story, and the reviews coming back have confirmed that. People have said it's a good read, and that's important to me.

Rob:

Yeah, I mean it sounds like you're doing really well already have tons of sales with that and as long as the story story, what's that saying? Facts tell, stories sell, so putting it in through the story, that'll make it easier for people to connect with and sharing that message, when they can connect with more individuals than the message can get across to a wider audience, and that's just incredible.

John:

Yeah, I had a woman just write to me, a stranger. She wrote to me and said that it was an emotional roller coaster. I laughed and cried at the same time.

Rob:

I couldn't have had a better compliment than that. That's awesome. I love that. So, John, how do people get a copy of this book?

John:

It's actually on Amazon. It's published through Don Quixote Press. For the record, this ties in. Getting it published was 10 times harder than writing it, even though I spent 10 years writing it. I was rejected again and again and again 200 times. But I ended up forming my own publishing company called Don Quixote Press, hiring a publicist, and we've just been set free. The average book out on the shelf, no matter who publishes it, sells about a thousand copies in its lifetime. Most books don't sell well. We've sold eight or nine times that in the first six months, so I feel it's been very successful. But amazoncom, just look for running as fast as I can, or else you can go to my website, johndavidgramcom. So it's a page turner, folks. It's easy to read and you can download a couple, three chapters that are free just to check it out awesome, love that it's worth every dime.

John:

You won't have to spend.

Rob:

I love that and, john, I love the work that you're doing too. This is some pretty awesome stuff, I really. I mean it's over almost 2,500 people you've impacted through what you're doing with your homes. You're now you've written a story that's connected with thousands of individuals, and it's only in the first six months of it, and so I can't imagine how much more it's going to connect with. So you're doing a lot of impressive stuff, man, and it's really inspiring. It's really cool to hear a little bit about your story on where you've gone from and where you're at currently and continuing to go to. So I appreciate you taking the time and sharing this with me, especially today, and, like so many people need to hear more about like getting extra chances and not being so hard on themselves, I feel like and connecting with individuals and being real humans to one another. I think that's a powerful thing that people need to start paying attention to more on. So I appreciate all this hard work you're doing.

John:

If I may add one thing, rob, I'm finding my granddaughter that many people growing up in her age bracket are growing up on electronic devices. They're glued to it, and she said in fact that it's hard to find boyfriends who are, they want to take any sort of not leadership role but just involvement, because they're always on the machine and they want they're passive and I'm afraid that we've developed a generation of isolated people, much like I felt, but on steroids, on electronics. So I think this idea of connection, of people, helping people not find a second or third chance but some people can't even find that first chance because they don't know what to do. So I think what we're doing is the model for the future of what we're going to be dealing with. Second chances are something it's a universal thing. Second chances are something it's a universal thing.

Rob:

Yeah, so true, so true. Connection communication is so easily accessible, yet so many people are isolated and alone nowadays and it really is tough. So that's a powerful point there, and you shared a lot of good information here and I wouldn't be courteous of our time. But I got to ask you if you were to boil everything down, everything that you've learned over the years, and just kind of compile it into one major piece that you would pass on. What would that piece of advice be?

John:

One of my characters. When Daniel was working in a children's home, he was struggling to help these children who just wouldn't listen to him. And this wise nun who was trying to help Daniel said there are no bad students, they're only bad teachers. And it took them a long time to get the understanding of what that meant. And the idea is that we can say things, we can point fingers and say you need to, why aren't you listening? But until people know you care, they won't care what you know. So I have three degrees, but it doesn't mean anything if I don't care about the person I'm talking with. And how do they know I care? I listen to them. So I've often said the loudest sermon I preach is when I say nothing, and I have a feeling a lot of people might agree with that one.

Rob:

Yes, that's very true there. I love that, john. Again, man, thank you so much for taking the time today. Guys, go check out that book on Amazon and running as fast as I can, right, is that what?

John:

That's correct, and it's in print, hardback and e-book, and the audio book comes out in about two or three weeks.

Rob:

All right, as fast as I can. And what was your website? Again, just one more time.

John:

Amazon would have just look up running as fast as I can on Amazon. But my personal website is johndavidgramcom.

Rob:

Boom. Awesome Website and Amazon. Check it out, grab a copy. Grab two copies and give one to a friend, john. Thank you again so much for taking the time today to share a little bit and look forward to connecting with you down the road, man.

John:

My pleasure, Rob. Thank you very much.