Surviving the Side Hustle

From Toxic Beginnings to Executive Success: Terry Yoffe's Transformation as a Leading Coach

• Coach Rob • Season 1 • Episode 52

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Ever wondered how someone can transform a challenging upbringing into a thriving career? In this compelling episode, we sit down with Terry Yoffe, founder of TriCoaching, to explore her remarkable journey from a toxic early environment to becoming a celebrated executive coach. Terry's story is a testament to the power of resilience and the importance of stepping out of your comfort zone. She shares the origins of TriCoaching, inspired by her own initials, and her ventures through the fashion and sales industries before finding her calling in coaching. Her insights on leveraging personal struggles into stepping stones for success are invaluable for anyone looking to own their narrative and grow both personally and professionally.

Terry also delves into the significance of authenticity and emotional intelligence in building a solid reputation, especially in demanding fields like sales. Through her candid discussion, she reveals how overcoming fears and advocating for oneself can cultivate a robust sense of self-worth. We tackle common struggles such as imposter syndrome and the impact of social media on self-perception, highlighting the importance of loyalty, trust, and continuous learning. Terry’s emphasis on embracing challenges and learning from failures provides a blueprint for resilience, making this conversation essential for those seeking to build a successful career while staying true to themselves.

Finally, we highlight the crucial role of coaching in personal and professional development. Terry shares her own experiences with multiple coaches, underscoring how they have accelerated her growth. We discuss her involvement in platforms like her TV show "Coaches Creating Change" and upcoming participation in the 1% Conference, showcasing her commitment to lifelong learning. For new entrepreneurs, Terry's advice on self-compassion, perseverance, and embracing vulnerability offers a roadmap to navigating the entrepreneurial journey. Whether you're looking to find your passion or to overcome the inevitable challenges of starting a business, Terry’s journey is a powerful reminder that success is built on resilience and a willingness to embrace every opportunity.

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Rob:

What's going on? Everybody Today on the show we've got Terry. Terry, how are you? We just found out that you are not too far from where I'm located here in Stanford. We had some crazy weather yesterday, but how are you doing?

Terry:

Being here, rob, I'm great, I'm great, truly. I'm honored and I'm thrilled to be with you and be able to share probably like minded stories, and my journey for sure.

Rob:

Well, I'm very excited to dive in because I'm interested to hear the full story from you. So before we dive into that, would you mind giving a little introduction on who you are and who would you help?

Terry:

Sure, my name is Terry Yoffe. I am the founder of Try Coaching, which is an executive, business and communications company. I coach high-level, high-achieving business professionals high level, high achieving business professionals. I really help them get out of their comfort zones and to be able to get out of their stories. That Lord knows. We all have a story and that story keeps us stuck. And when you are willing and you're courageous enough to let go of your stories and to really start looking at what's holding you back, what keeps you stuck, what are you fearful of, then we can get to. How do you move to become the person you've always thought about becoming, to become?

Rob:

the person you've always thought about becoming. Oh, I love that, and you're the founder of TriCoaching. Can you explain a little bit about the name TriCoaching?

Terry:

It's my initials.

Rob:

Oh, I love that.

Terry:

I mean, I don't use my married name, but my initials are T-R-Y and when I thought about getting a domain, I looked some up and I thought, heck, I use my initials. So they came in very handy which I had nothing to do with.

Rob:

I guess. Thank your parents for that one I guess Right, yeah, I can certainly. So let's dive in a little bit. How did so? How did you get into coaching? How did you find yourself helping all these entrepreneurs and highly driven individuals?

Terry:

I stumbled on it Really, yeah. So a little bit about me. So I grew up in a very toxic environment not my parents to us, but to each other and I had nobody to show me my way. But something inside of me knew that I was going to be doing more than where I was, and it took me a very long time to hear Brene Brown say you've got to own your story. Before that I did not. So my story has become my journey and how I've owned it. Journey and how I've owned it and how I took myself from barely being able to navigate across the street metaphorically to becoming who I am today.

Terry:

And I had a lot of heartbreak, a lot of struggles, a lot of challenges. I got fired many times. I did not have the ability or the time to really vent because I needed to pay my rent and I went into analysis that was a very critical point for me three times a week for seven years. And I think once I got through that I said if I could do that, I can do anything and stick with it. And I did. I somehow took up the philosophy of if something was given to me like a job opportunity. I did not have the sales experience, but I had the fashion experience. I could have said no, I could have walked away. Most people would have done that. Wait a second, I'm going to now have a territory and I don't know how to sell. Oh, I don't want to look like a fool, but I said yes, of course, and it was one of the beginning trajectories of where my life went. I did not know how to sell, but obviously people liked me. They liked how I showed up and I learned the skills to being a good salesperson.

Terry:

And I stayed three years, took a $650,000 territory to a million four Nice and walked away because they weren't paying me enough. And then I went to Condé Nast and went to one of the magazines they had just hopped, they had just acquired the New Yorker, and between the New Yorker and Bon Appetit I spent 11 years being an extraordinary salesperson. At that time my value was making money and I made a lot of it. However, there came a point where I started to realize the golden handcuffs weren't enough and I left. My husband had been really pushing me to start my own rep company, so I was a hired gun. If people needed a salesperson, they would bring me on board, and that's what I did. I got my rowboat and I left the shore of corporate America and started moving towards another shore. That's a metaphor. I use a lot of metaphors.

Terry:

No, I love it and I had a great reputation and in business, reputation is everything Everything how people feel about you, are they willing to bring you on board and my business was great, great until it wasn't the landscape changed. I had no idea at that point what I was going to do. I thought of going back to school and becoming a therapist because of all my years of analysis and working on the human mind mine, but everyone's is the same. The human mind is the human mind. It's the first computer actually that retains everything. And I stumbled on coaching. I'd never heard of it and said, okay, this is similar to going back to school and becoming a therapist. Little different tweet. And as an older person, I am north of 70.

Rob:

Looking good, though Looking great.

Terry:

Yeah, I decided to become a coach. I went from being at the top of my game to being in the basement, went back to school to learn how to I mean to training. Nobody knew me as a coach, they knew me as a salesperson. And then, if that wasn't enough, six months later I went on for my certification six months certification with an oral and a written exam and I passed. And then I joined the International Coach Federation, which is the standards and ethics for coaching. I became a member of the New York chapter. I rose to president of the chapter and I was also part of an organization that helped founder a mentoring program. I chaired the mentoring program. It became the gold standard of mentoring. I'm not there anymore. I got an award for the accomplishments I did with the program. It's still running, it's still successful. It's one of their key programs and I became a full-time coach and I built a website and people started coming to me and it was very slow in building and I've done some other trainings. So I'm well certified.

Terry:

And if that wasn't enough, two and a half years ago I stepped into the world of podcasting and two and a half years later I'm in the top 2% globally of all podcasts. Congratulations with that, and I'm about to get on the stage of speaking. So ageism doesn't matter. You can do whatever you want to do. You don't have to listen to societal norms. I didn't. I got married later, I started my career later and that's what my podcast is Extraordinary Work conversations about creating change and how can we create change. It's so important for people all of us that feel at X age, it's time to retire, or at X age, I'm never going to see my dream come true. I just you know. So they put all of this on the cutting room floor.

Rob:

That's. That's it's. It's such a shame when people just abandon and give up hope. And I've been working with a couple of younger guys who are late 20s, early 30s and they feel like they've kind of wasted their life because they went to school for something that they've fallen out of interest in and they feel like it's too late for them to change careers, for them to change careers, and it can be pretty daunting when you don't have that perspective of being able to see other people being successful, shifting industries, changing patterns and things like that. And even for yourself, when you first started with the sales job, how did you, how would you stay motivated to learn about the sales position and about sales skills and all of that, when you said you pretty much had no idea when you just took the position?

Terry:

the publisher of Women's Wear Daily. I had met her, I knew who she was, came up to me and offered me the job. I didn't have any sales experience, she didn't care and I took it. That was it Very simple. That was it very simple. I learned as I went and realized that how I showed up was a good portion of the selling, and that has taken me through my sales career.

Rob:

I love that learning as as you go. That's some powerful stuff right there.

Terry:

I think today people are looking for loyalty, trust, teamwork and a lot of the EQ you know, learning about the job. You can learn that as you go If you're in the industry. I mean, I was in the fashion industry, I wasn't in the sales industry. I was in the fashion industry, I wasn't in the sales industry. And yeah, when I got to Condé Nast and I was at the New Yorker way back in the day and I went with my manager, it took me a while I was going, I didn't know, know. It took me time to figure out the lingo, the verbiage, and that's not difficult. You catch on and you go from there.

Rob:

Sounds like she really saw some key traits in yourself there. Like you said, you didn't have the sales skills or experience at the time, but you definitely had these people skills and I don't know if maybe that was your reputation leading the way for you. But what if you don't have the reputation behind you? Or if you are just starting out? How do you begin to build the reputation behind you? Or if you are just kind of starting out, how do you, how do you begin to build the reputation of being that individual who does show up, who does know like how to, how to learn on their feet, kind of thing?

Terry:

Takes time. You know people want it right now. Yeah, right now. Well, that doesn't work at all. You know you don't become I didn't become the person I am today. Yesterday to grow, to fall as many times as I felt, to have the challenges and the struggles that everyone's got their own path, that they've got to walk. No one can walk it for them. You can walk with them. As I say with my coaching clients, I can't walk their path. They have to do the work. I can walk beside them and guide them, but we all have to do our own work and whatever is laid out for us, either we try to go around it, and that doesn't work, or we power through it. And, as I said, I think, my seven years of analysis, which was very painful and very difficult, I think somewhere in me I said, as I said, if I can do this, there isn't anything I can't do, and I think that has been a mantra of mine. I tell my clients say yes.

Terry:

When I didn't work and situations came up, I went into real estate. I went into this. I knew nothing about it. I said, sure, if they were going to pay me, I'm in it. Didn't stay in it, but so what? You get to a point where you have to define who you are and not be defined by others. When I started my podcast two and a half years ago, I said to myself if it doesn't work? I had no clue. I knew this is what I wanted and the universe opened and created it for me. I said if this does not define me, if it doesn't work, I'm still a great coach and that's how I went about it.

Rob:

Yeah, Not afraid to be open and taking on the new challenges I talk. I talk a lot about taking on challenges, but making sure that you're taking on appropriate challenges that don't just totally crush you and leave you defeated, but to help you ratchet up and build up your resilience. And more times than not, I've failed so many times on different adventures, different projects and things like that. But I try to keep the positive mindset and try to learn from each setback or failure and try to find that silver lining, almost. And how can I bring that into the next challenge? How can I bring that forward? How can I share that with who else is going to benefit from this? And I try to do that myself with my clients and my own personal projects.

Terry:

I agree, you have to be willing to walk the ledge no matter what. And a lot of people aren't comfortable, you know they have a lot of reasons and that's their fears and their stories.

Rob:

Once we really look at the stories and the reasons and the fears, then the field opens up for people to say, oh okay, I'm valuable, I'm worthy, I'm good enough. You know, is one of my guests that we're in the pandemic of not good enough. That's, that's in all of us. It's tough, too, with the social media and everybody always posting their highlight reels.

Terry:

And I think too many people get caught up on that and they get trapped. Yes, they're accurate. People can compare themselves to social media, right?

Rob:

You know what I sit here, and sometimes I'm guilty of that. As long as you bring yourself back in, though, I think that's the important part.

Terry:

I should have known years and years ago, when I was insecure. I had a relationship for a really long time and right before the wedding, he broke up with me and I was devastated, devastated. However, I took my money and I went to Europe for two months, nice. I should have known that I wasn't who I thought I was and it took me a long time to see my worth and and who I am On my, on my inner being yeah, I imagine you, you deal with.

Rob:

You deal with that a lot and like, was it like phenomenon or imposter syndrome and all that kind kind of things with a lot of your clients.

Terry:

That's there. I think we all have that, every one of us. I don't care who you are, I have that once in a while. They do. They don't feel, you know, they may say I made it through another day, nobody noticed, and that's one, you know. That's one of many fears people have to be found. They're not worthy. And you know a lot of people don't know how to advocate for themselves. They don't know how to step up.

Terry:

I have a lot of clients that still carrying what happened to them in their childhood. Right, we all do. Oh yeah, you know, unless you go through seven years of analysis. But still, even with everything, I did Buddhist retreats, I did other modalities to find myself, to ground myself, but it's still. I'm redoing my website because it was done a long time ago, but it's pretty huge, pretty huge, and I'll look at it and say who is that person. Look, we all have our gremlins, if you will, saboteurs, every one of us. It's part of our DNA. There's no way to get rid of it. It's keeping it in check and looking at it and, when an emotion comes up, not be triggered by that emotion from your past. And it takes work, it takes self-awareness, it takes self-love, to really be kind to yourself and give yourself permission to falter to falter.

Rob:

What are some of the top strategies you use to help an individual who is going through something like that? How do you help them with their self-care, self-love and all of that?

Terry:

I recently had a client who was working for a small firm. She was a big part of the company but she wasn't being compensated enough or titled enough and she didn't know what to do. She didn't know how to speak up. So we built a strategy and a platform for how she should show up and what she needed to tell them. So when she got to the place of asking for what she wanted, they already knew what she was doing. It took point by point by point. So we build a strategy plan Everyone's different as to how to work it to let them know in the meetings. By the way, I brought in 12 new clients. I'll make that up. That transferred into $3 million. So you start by letting them know your value, what you are doing for the company, bottom line ROI, what the ROI is and having you, you having this person around and what it would be like if this person were gone. And we built on that block by block until she went in to have a conversation with them.

Rob:

Love that. Do you also do role playing for the conversations, once you kind of script it out almost to have your talking points and understanding, uh, the value?

Terry:

uh, we will do some of that from time to time. Yes, we do some role playing, um, but everyone comes with something different, right? It doesn't matter what it is. They want to leave their company. They're an entrepreneur. How can they expand it? What do they need to do? What aren't they doing? Because they're fearful? They always come with a story and a fear For me and my philosophy. You have to figure that out. You can't smooth over and say, oh, let's go to the goals, because that would be like for me, quicksand.

Rob:

Yeah.

Terry:

You have to get to. What's the driver? What's under? And I work in a two-pronged process. There's the inner and the outer, Because their business is inanimate. Business is an inanimate object. It's only when you work it does it come to life. Otherwise, a desk is nothing, A piece of machinery is nothing. So it's about them and what's stopping them.

Rob:

So I apologize for kind of shifting gears here, but you're definitely not a stranger to success and you've accomplished a lot of different things and you're a great coach yourself. I'm curious do you have any mentors or coaches along your journey that really kind of stick out?

Terry:

That have helped me. Yeah, I have had a few. When I went through my six-month certification program, I did have coaches along the way. I started with CTI coach training it's called something else, I think now where I went to their fundamentals and then I went for their program and then and I got a certificate and then I went for my certification. So the coaches I worked with along the way were really great and, um and I've had several coaches on my podcast, coaches that have been really outstanding for me, that I have been inspired by, that have helped me. When I went for certification, I had a great coach, a great coach that helped me get through it, a great coach that helped me get through it. And even today I'm about to work with a person I'm not going to name them to help me. I am going through a rebranding and a remessaging because my website was old and I'm going to be working with somebody.

Rob:

I love that and I talk about all the time, because coaches need coaches and people who fall into that limiting belief that they don't need the help, that they can just do it on their own. They don't. They oftentimes they don't realize that they're just slowing their own progress. You can totally figure things out on your own, but when you're working with another individual who already has the experience, who already has what you're looking to achieve, you're not paying just for the knowledge. You're paying for the experience, the implementation and the organization too. So you know when to tackle certain things at certain times. So I love that.

Rob:

You shared that and I have numerous coaches. I've got a coach for speaking. I've got a personal branding coach. I've got all of like tons of different things. I'm constantly, always looking to improve myself, because when I finished my undergrad, I remember driving home from college thinking to myself wow, that's it. I know all there is to know about exercise science. I'm now the smartest person in the world when it comes to exercise and two weeks later I realized I literally didn't know anything. Just because I had a bachelor's and was going on for my master's, it didn't mean that I knew nearly as much as I need to learn and continue to learn too.

Terry:

That I knew nearly as much as I need to learn and continue to learn too. It's true, we all I, I think for me, doing trainings right have been ways of learning. My podcast is huge growth for me. I have a which most people don't know I have a TV show with another coach. It's only on MNN, which is a New York city station called coaches, creating change, and every month we talk about something about creating change. So my life is about creating change and I observe a lot and I see how other people are working. So I do my own shifts, but I've come to a place where it was time to kind of rebrand myself a little bit. I'm a pretty humble person in reality, and when this woman said to me you are so unbelievable, you have so much and you are not sharing it, I said really. So I'm about to go up a notch or two. I get a little nervous, but it's like what the heck?

Rob:

I love that too, that you just shared, that it does bring up the nerves and such every once in a while. And when I first got into speaking, I kept telling myself oh, this is, this is exciting, this is nervous, it's making me nervous. Um, I just can't wait until I get to the point where I'm so comfortable that I don't necessarily need to feel this anymore. And then it dawned on me that I don't want to get to a spot where I'm that comfortable, where I don't feel it, because it is exciting, it means I'm alive, it means I'm feeling something, I'm putting effort and care into something because I want it to be, I want it to come out well. So I love that and constantly trying to learn and grow. And I can tell that that's probably where you got introduced, to now shifting gears into speaking right, because I know that's where you're trying to get into next, in some bigger stages.

Terry:

I have wanted that. And again, I just had Dylan Smith on my podcast and we were talking and he said come to the 1% conference in September. I have a space for a panel sponsor. You get to get up on stage and talk. I've been talking. All my life. I've been on stages. This is not new to me. I just haven't done it for a long time. And you'll be on the red carpet and they'll do an article about you. So the optics you know.

Terry:

I said, okay, here I am my first step and I'm in touch with a lot of other people that do conferences, that it's time I mean. That's why I say don't let your age get in the way of following your passion, your purpose, your fulfillment in life. It's just what it is, and there are people that want to retire and do nothing. That's fine. But there are people that want more and it's my soul, it wants more. It's keeping pushing me, it's pushing and pushing. There are those of us that just want to be out there. I'm an ordinary person trying to do extraordinary deeds, and so can other people.

Rob:

I love that. So you mentioned the 1% conference. When is that coming up in October?

Terry:

November. It's coming up in two months, it'll be, in Springfield, Missouri.

Rob:

Springfield, Missouri. So that's where I guess everybody can check you out next. But other than that conference, what else have you got going on? Do you have any other big projects besides the website coming out?

Terry:

I'm redoing my website. I focus on my coaching and my podcast because I'm booked for the year and I've still got five months to go, so that's a huge amount of work. So, between the podcast and getting to know people, like we met, it's very important for me to meet people and to be with like-minded people and hear what they have to say, so I'm pretty busy and my coaching.

Rob:

So, with all that going on, I do want to be courteous of our time, so I don't want to be too too long, but no that's all right. Pretty busy Are you currently still taking? On new clients, or is there like a waiting list, or how do people find out about your website? Or how do people find out about your website is how do people get in touch with you?

Terry:

I happen to this year happen to have a made room for a few new clients that I'm looking for, and if you have liked what you've heard and you'd like to have a conversation with me, you you can reach me at terriattrycoachingcom At my website. Oh yeah, terriattrycoachingcom is my email. Wwwtrycoaching is my website. You can pretty much find me anywhere you look. I would love to have a conversation and if we become coaching client and partner and that you came from Rob, I would be very happy to give a discount.

Rob:

There you go. You guys hear that. Reach out, terry, reach out to me. We were having a great conversation, very open about questions, anything. She's here to help Heart of gold. She's a great energy and you've got a lot of things going on too. So at the very least, you should just follow her on social media and just chime in and check in what she's got going on and where she's at in the world. She's moving and grooving. Still. She's crushing a lot of different things. So, terry, thank you seriously so much for taking the time. I know you're super busy. It's not always the easiest to lock times down, so thank you. Thank you so much for hopping on today, and before I let you go, though, I got to ask you what would be your number one piece of advice for someone who's starting out in their entrepreneurial journey that can help them survive this.

Terry:

Don't be too hard on yourself. If you're just starting out, give yourself permission to fall, to challenge yourself, to fail, to get back up. That's the thing. If you've gone and you're working somewhere and it doesn't work out, so what? So what? Find what's your passion. Say yes if something comes up and you feel it could be a fit for you. Don't think about what. Are you crazy vulnerable? Just say yes. Every time you say yes, every time you get back up, every time you give yourself permission, is another stone that you're stepping over towards wherever it is you want to go. It took me a very long time to find where I wanted to go and if I could do it. There's no magic. There's no magic trick. Nobody waved a magic wand over me. Just do it. That's my philosophy and that's what I'm imparting to you. I love it.

Rob:

There you have it, just try it, love it, love it, love it. Thank you again so much, and that's it for us today. Guys, talk to you guys soon.