Surviving the Side Hustle

Mindful Mastery: Soji James' Philosophy of Strength, Resilience, and Revolutionary Growth

• Coach Rob • Season 1 • Episode 31

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When life throws a curveball, how do you swing back with resilience and gratitude? This question unravels in our latest podcast as we sit down with the inspirational Soji James, whose multifaceted expertise as a strength coach, meditation guru, and motivational speaker truly captures the essence of overcoming life's hurdles. Our conversation is a journey through Soji's life philosophy, underscoring the transformative power of gratitude and the importance of aligning with one's core values to navigate through the stormiest of weathers, be it health challenges like the norovirus or the everyday grind of achieving personal breakthroughs.

Venture into the realm of mindfulness with us, as we dissect the profound impact meditation has on steering through life's tumultuous waves. We expose the raw edges of personal struggles, from mourning a loss to managing the beautiful chaos of parenthood, revealing how a meditation practice tailored to the individual soul can bring about revolutionary inner growth. Our frank discussion about the double-edged sword of meditation apps will help you sift through the noise and find the silence within—the kind that refuels your core without the distraction of digital badges and streaks.

Capturing the spirit of sustainable progress, we unveil practical strategies for setting and smashing personal goals. I divulge my tactic of 90-day sprints that keep my eyes on the prize, while Soji shares his philosophy of reflection and flexibility in the relentless pursuit of achievements. From the anticipation of Soji's new coaching program to the art of juggling a side hustle with a heart full of gratitude, this episode is brimming with nuggets of wisdom for anyone looking to write their own story of success and happiness. Join us for this heart-to-heart, where we celebrate the beauty of transformation, one mindful step at a time.

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Speaker 1:

What's going on today? Got my buddy on, dude, what's up? So, gee, we just connected recently and through a mutual friend and you've got some great energy. I've been excited to get you on and we finally got you. So thanks for taking the time and hopping on with me today. What's up, dude? What's going on?

Speaker 2:

Rob, the feeling is mutual. Brother, you know I admire your continuous strife and growth. You know I've heard a bunch of kind of episodes as well and I just love your vibe and I'm excited to just connect and just share some value with you today. Man, just kind of learning. Continue to grow from you as well. Me personally, your boy is just recovering from no-road virus. Man, it basically kicked me in the nuts.

Speaker 2:

It took me and the entire family out this past week, man, and if you've never experienced no-road virus, it's basically a gastro where you're basically hungover toilet. You want a toilet or BFF for a couple of days. So I mean I'm finally kind of getting back into the groove and able to walk around and operate as an alma human being and I'm highly grateful for that fact. So attitude of gratitude just for that today my brother.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, man, I love that. Well, I'm glad to hear that you're starting to feel better and you're back into the swing of things. Before we dive into too much, mind giving a little introduction on who you are and what kind of people you help and what are you kind of doing.

Speaker 2:

Hi, my name is, if you haven't heard, soju James. I'm a strength coach, I'm a meditation teacher, I'm a speaker and essentially what I really try to operate in this world as is a change maker man. I really love to help people essentially take the pen back and write their own stories by helping them basically build and acquire skills across various disciplines. Right? So you know, I usually kind of help out the burnt out diet I was tired of the whole yo-yo situation, the sudden stopping and I kind of help them essentially build out a lifestyle, right, like I find that taking like a skills-based approach is extremely empowering. And I feel like you know, if we talk about like the fitness space in general, when you enter in and you kind of have the typical goals, you know the lose, the 20, lose 30, you know I want to have like the biceps, like who's that guy on WWE, the Python guy, like 20 inch pythons.

Speaker 2:

But you know, I really try to help people kind of number one, get clear and go internally first and get clear on what their core values are, what their wives are, and just kind of build out from there. Right, so you know this, essentially for me it could be one-on-one virtual training. You know I got like a 12 week coaching course to help people around the country, just online. In that aspect I also do like a lot of meditation work and mindfulness. So you know I tag that on to one-on-one sessions. But I also, you know, done stuff corpora wise on the companies and just you know basically kind of help people just get better internally in that aspect.

Speaker 1:

So kind of run the gamut become the running gamut.

Speaker 2:

But it kind of goes back to that, the major point of being able to take the pen back and write your own story. I think that's extremely important in a world that essentially wants you to. You know, do what it sees as success.

Speaker 1:

So, yeah, I love that. That's awesome because I'm very similar with my coaching practice. It's more of a holistic approach where you're incorporating like a little bit of everything. Everybody, everybody's a little bit different, so certain people need a little bit of certain different things. And yeah, it really stems with that awareness and kind of looking inward before you can change outward kind of thing. And I'm curious so how did you get involved? Because there is so many different facets to the coaching world that you're doing. So where did you start in strengthening conditioning solely, or like how did that come apart?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, 100% man. And if I'm getting my superhero origin story right, it started like a swimming pool back when I was 10 years old. So I'm on like a senior trip in elementary school and I'm kind of the last kid. I'm super, I'm like kind of really slow to get ready and organize, rob, you feel me. So we're at the polka-noas, we're at like the swimming pool. I'm the last kid out. You know, I got my Pokemon talk. His Pokemon was like hot at the time, you feel me.

Speaker 2:

Oh yeah, yeah, come on, I was collecting them all. I was collecting them all, rob. So the boys lined up on one side of the pool, the girls are lined up one side of the pool and I come out in my towel and feel like I'm Justin Bieber walking off Floyd Mayweather to a prize fight yeah, I get out to the pool, take my towel in all the boys and girls and as if, in unison, they are like eww For me, for young Soji, like if I had a.

Speaker 2:

Harry Potter invisibility cloak, I would have disappeared at that point, right there, I would have took a rocket ship. You would have never even met me today, rob, you feel me. So for me that was like my first kind of interface with body awareness and health in general, how I looked at myself as opposed to how the world looked at me. And you know, from that point I kind of began to get into movement in general. Right, I had an older brother who played basketball and at that point I was like yo, I got to change something. So I started following him around, just kind of pick up the skills, got good enough and eventually played in college. And when I was in college I had a strength munition coach, my father.

Speaker 2:

I was shooting new ball to Keith Kenny and he had never lifted up until that point. But you know, it's still while my physique had shifted. You know, being an athlete or whatnot, that's still same awareness and self love and self validation. It still was. It was kind of skewed in a whole different direction. Right, there still wasn't this self respect right.

Speaker 2:

But learning and getting into the weight room, that was one of the first places where I was like you know you know saying it with my chest a little bit more right you started to get stronger, you started to like really just just love what your body is capable of doing and it's such a. It's such an intoxicating feeling, or rather like a addictive feeling, rather right.

Speaker 2:

So, like you get this and you're just like man the same confidence that can apply in the weight room. How can I take it out into the rest of the world and be the best version of myself? So you know now, campus. You walk in a bar, everybody's looking up. You walk into room, you're giving presentations and I'm like yo, I like this. Everyone should have this right, yeah.

Speaker 2:

So that strength coach encouraged me was like you know, get a personal training certification. At the time, how he voiced it was like you know. You know, in case you have nothing to pull back on, try that. So that was even a whole other thing to discuss about, but I got my first training. Certification was like 19 years old and I haven't looked that sense.

Speaker 2:

So that first kind of got me into this, this sphere of of just strength and conditioning, and then for me personally, you know, when I was 24, so about 12, going on 11 years ago now, my father died of a random heart attack. So you know I appreciate you, brother. You know, like you know something continue to to kind of learn and grow and evolve from you know.

Speaker 2:

But I feel like at that point, you know, as immigrant he came here from Nigeria when it was 24, with nothing, and for him success was being a doctor or lawyer. That's just how we looked at it. So you know me going into this personal training career. He's always looking me and say you know, soge, what are you doing with yourself? You're wasting your time, you're not. So it really made me kind of even look at myself a little bit differently, but I always used to kind of have a chip on my shoulder like I'm going to prove you wrong.

Speaker 2:

Why watch? Watch me show you what success, watch me impact lives. At least ignore calls and not pick up the phone and eventually, you know, one day I didn't have the opportunity to do so anymore. This was not something I was ever expecting. This was something where, you know, I thought maybe be able to be old enough to raise my kids and or help me raise my kids rather so for me in meditation, that's that point in my life. That's where that really became a big thing for me. It helped me kind of get through that initial shock and just self explore. You know, some of the film had followed in and regret I had from not picking up the phone and connecting deeper while I had the opportunity.

Speaker 2:

But like that whole area of mindfulness, that's when I really kind of took off. For me Just helped me navigate an extremely difficult time. But in addition to that, it just it really had me take a step back and say, like all right, you know all these conversations I was avoiding. What is really important to me, what are my values, what do I want to, what's my imprint that I want to leave on this world when eventually the clock stops. That give me. So a lot of those questions began to. You know, I found that it helped me and I was like I need to share this and I guess, similar way to how the confidence from Shun condition right Like it, just kind of enveloped into one, so when you practice meditation, are you constantly thinking about all these different questions that you're kind of asking to yourself, or like what is your personal meditation kind of mindfulness practice look like?

Speaker 1:

Is it guided or is it you?

Speaker 2:

know it sort of varies but for the most part, you know, I try to do it 20 minutes every single morning and it's essentially like I may have a different focus, right. So I said I have a 15 month old, I got a three year old, right. So you know, if I say I start my meditation a little bit later than normal and they're screaming in the background, maybe that day you know, I mean like I can't, I can't ignore them or mute them in the back, right, but I could turn it to a meditation of sound meditation, right. Or I'm really just focusing on everything in my environment and just really being as present as possible in that moment. So there may be another one where, like maybe that week, I'm feeling emotionally a little uptight.

Speaker 2:

So I may shift it to a meditation of thoughts and emotions and just see what are some of the thoughts that continually popping up. So you kind of see them with without judgment, right. So you're not blocking all to them, you acknowledge them, you let them pass and we return to the present moment. There's this whole concept of impermanence around this type of meditation, right, and like that kind of, I can say goes back to the whole concept with my father. So it really kind of resonates with me. You know, we think that a lot of times we're feeling happy or we're feeling sad, or you know, you maybe made a mistake in your business last week and you kind of let it run you into the ground when an actuality right Like it's one blip in the moment that will pass, it's not going to end everything for us. So, like when I come to understand that more, it just gets so much easier to navigate this difficult thing that we call life or being an entrepreneur or a business owner right, yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's so crazy because, as you were talking before, how it kind of like started, it was like a such a it was like the beginning of a lot of this like internal reflection and awareness, and it had me kind of thinking for a second there, like yeah, because once I started meditating more consistently, these sort of things started to happen for me as well.

Speaker 1:

But then I'm thinking to myself, I just follow a guided meditation through headspace. I've been using it for years but I don't really think about anything. I just kind of sit there and pay attention to my breathing. Yeah, of course, some thoughts come and I try to like I catch myself thinking about them and then I bring myself back to back to my breath. But just sitting there, like turning my brain off, it like opened the doors for more internal thinking and I was, I'm like curious, I'm like why, how is that? Because I'm not necessarily thinking of like oh, my emotions and thoughts and things like that, but it's just so. That's crazy. I wasn't sure if there's different kinds of meditations that you go through for certain things.

Speaker 2:

And there are different types too, but I would like to tell people with meditation.

Speaker 2:

I feel, like when you hear meditation you think about like some bald dude in a robe and they have a layer sitting across leg. But you know there's so many different types and like whether you do it guided, whether you do it unguided. I think when we talk about meditation, the main important principle, essentially, is some kind of self exploration. Right, so if you're even sitting down there and you're listening to guided, but this is the first time you've actually slowed down a week and paid attention to that breath, that's you going inward, right. So I think the key with meditation is helping people just the more to understand that their practices, their practice. There are no guidelines or specific rules. It's like you want to throw your drip, you want to throw your sauce, your swag on it, bro, like that's. That's what it's about.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I love that too, because when I was going through it I really I really got addicted to the headspace app, because every time you do it you get that one more day plus.

Speaker 1:

And then I was running that up and I got it to like 200 days in a row and then I got to the point where I was just doing it just to get that check mark so I could continue my streak. And then some days it would be like three minutes and then some days it would be like the 16 or 15, like I tried to do normally. But then I got so caught up on that that I was losing track and focus of hey, I'm not actually benefiting from this, I'm just trying to please the streak, to maintain that streak. And then dawning on me like, hey, meditation is just meditation, there's no right or wrong way, it's just dedicating the time and it's you personally. So whether you're going for a walk or doing this or that, it was like boom. So that's. I love that you said that, because it's like everybody else, everybody has their own things going on and everyone's a little different 100% 100%.

Speaker 2:

That's a powerful thing for people to understand. Rob, you're right, like it looks different and you know I may have a sit where, like that, when I say sit, I may like sit down and meditate, where my thoughts are super rampant. I feel like I think a lot of times when people think about meditation they think that it's this need to clear your thoughts completely and just eradicate everything in between these two years. But you know there's so many research studies that they vary in terms of the number. But you'll see like 60, 80,000 thoughts a day and if you plan to eradicate all of those, you're going to be there for a while. You feel me. So I think even the whole concept of having these thoughts or these frustrations, but just returning back and just starting again and understanding that some days are going to look and feel different and easier than the other, I think that's important to get, and I started out with headspace as well, man, and I get the whole plus one and like that feels good.

Speaker 2:

And I think for anyone who's listening. Just getting started and finding out what works for you, to just even get you hooked on the habit itself, is a big thing, right. So, walking meditation, if that's headspace, if that's something guided, if that's listening to a Deepav Chopra on YouTube, like whatever it is, like I'm a works for you and just get going.

Speaker 1:

Now. So do you meditate currently on a daily basis or is it just kind of like trying whenever you kind of get it in.

Speaker 2:

Every day. So that's that's how I start my morning, so it's one of my. You know, I like to call my holistic hour, right? So this is like maybe four to five things that I happen to check, like that check check lists that I try to knock out, and if I don't hit all of them, it's not the end of the world to me. I give myself flexibility, but meditation is the first one, so that's the one that potentially always gets done, and then I try to use it as a point too where, you know, running a business and having two young kids and also trying to be an amazing partner to an amazing partner as well, like, there's a lot of stressors, there's a lot of different factors pulling you left and right.

Speaker 2:

So I always like to remember that the breath is a place of refuge that you can come back to at any point during the day. Right? So my kids are coming. Like you know, getting one of my sons out to take care this morning was was like it was like a WWE wrestling match Put the pants on, he rips them off, he's throwing them over his shoulder, and for me, how I react in these moments, that's what he's going to learn and that's how he's going to react when situations are pressure filled or they feel unbearable. So for me it's a quick breath. He's just like that. Why are you doing that? I'm like it's part of life for me now. Right, he just learns now when he's a little frustrated or upset. So that's a little mini meditation, but I always start my day with him. I think it's important.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I love that. And practicing right in front of him, he's picking those up and he's going to. He's going to be leaps and bounds ahead of everybody when he when it comes to his emotions and his mind, space, mindset and headspace. So I want to ask you, because you had said attitude to gratitude, I think, either before we hopped on or right as we started. Now, where does, where does gratitude fall into your practice of everything?

Speaker 2:

That's the number two on that box man. I meditate, I feel like that sets my stage here and then I begin to reflect right, so gratitude, I think that's got me. I'm a kid from the projects and the Bronx man. I you know like. I've, you know, been in situations where I've been on a basketball court. I see the guy step onto a court with a semi automatic pistol, shoot nine people, like.

Speaker 2:

I've been like I've. I've seen. I've seen a lot of things. I've been robbed at some point, like now. For me I've. I've woken up in the middle of night where you know I'm stomping as Roach is running everywhere. Like I've. I've had nothing and now you know I run a business. I I'm a homeowner. Like I got two young kids who got space in the backyard, or dog running back there Right. So for me, every day I wake up, I'm living in the game I'm living and looking with appreciation about where it comes from, the connections I've been able to foster, the people who continue to inspire me to take one extra step to make things happen in this world. And I find that, um, it's attitude of gratitude, man, like, like it's easier with the smile, man, through all the difficulties and hardships. Man, it's easier with the smile, easier to connect, it's easier to share our pains, easier to be vulnerable. So that's how I approach it, man. I try to feel keep my cup filled and go out and fill all the cups.

Speaker 1:

Love that. Yeah, I remember somebody saying once that I think there's like two or three times the amount of muscles required to frown than it does to smile, so that, yeah, it makes it so much easier to live in life with a smile. And I know of me personally. I've been making a huge commitment to step up my gratitude, and I was just checking the second to go, and today was actually my 305th day in a row of doing my gratitude journal, which I feel pretty proud about.

Speaker 2:

That's amazing, bro, we streaking.

Speaker 1:

We streaking.

Speaker 2:

Oh brother, that's amazing man.

Speaker 1:

And this year I'm trying to crank it up a notch by trying to I tried to send one gratitude message out per day to somebody, but it's like a full, heartfelt one, because then that's it and me up to. That's amazing, yeah, giving more gratitude, which then I hopefully I can learn to appreciate a little bit more.

Speaker 2:

So love that and I think, to man, when it comes to gratitude practices, like, there's so many ways to do it right, like I personally, I like what you said to us. I start with the three things I'm grateful for. What a big one for me is that one to it, sending out the knowledge of it, the thank you right, like I think I'm for us to man. You know this goes back to our same dad to like about. A big learning point for me from that experience was when you love somebody, when you appreciate them, when they have impacted you in any way, there's no reason to hold on to that.

Speaker 2:

Give it out, to give the flowers out while you have the opportunity to chance to do so so I'm texting two to four people a day like it's like you know what I'll try like everyone can be that deep heartfelt, but I feel too as well.

Speaker 2:

There's something simplistic that made my life a little bit easier that I learned. Or somebody was super vulnerable on a post tonight and I understand how difficult that is. Thank you for sharing that. Slide into the end. Shoot them a message of appreciation, like I think that's such a powerful thing because this whole thing of no one like you giving out this love, the universe only gives that shit back right.

Speaker 2:

I really believe in karma big time, but in the aspect of looking around for things that to be grateful for, I feel like I'm where we focus our attention, our energy.

Speaker 2:

Where focus our energy, attention flows right. So I think the more we can recognize and realize how we have it or you know, maybe Like a lot of times we think about like joy or gratitude maybe people think it has to be like this crazy wild thing, but it's really the simple things that maybe make your life a little bit easier the more you can recognize those, easier it is to recognize, more you just kind of going to like a cascade, like effect, and you're just feeling just better on a day and day basis and I feel like as a business owner, as a human, like we go through some, some tough and some tumultuous and challenging times, right, but we go always take a step back and realize we maybe a little bit further than we were the day before. Just makes you know, put things in perspective and it makes that long term journey that we're chasing a little bit more achievable, right.

Speaker 1:

Oh yeah, oh yeah, definitely, man, I love that. I feel like the mindset and the mindfulness and gratitude. I feel like that's all. It's kind of like nutrition for our mind and our body to, so that kind of goes hand in hand and really energizes you, because a lot of people I guess I wouldn't say a lot of people, but some people like comment on my attitude and how like upbeat and exciting and energizing I can be sometimes and I'm like, well, you know it's, you can't do this.

Speaker 2:

like, yeah, pay attention to what's going on in the inside, hundred percent I think it's a skill that could be called maybe some people naturally just have an inclination to do so a little bit more frequently or Like this, like you do you have a smile that just it's contagious you feel me like some people just have that it thing, that factor, but I think it's a skill that all of us can work on and benefit from, no matter where you're starting at on that continuum.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and I love that you said that to, because growing up I it was always like why me? Like what's going on, like my parents got their voice and like I'm the only kid who's got the force. Parents like this is, this is challenging, like we don't have any money, this kind of things. Like it's so easy to fall into that victim mindset and then you're constantly minding yourself about that victim mindset. So that practice of gratitude, I feel like, really breaks that and then establishes a whole new Identity.

Speaker 2:

Percent yeah, and like I get you know, I started this off I was talking about people taking the pen back and writing their own story and I really feel like that's exactly what gratitude, essentially, or practice in your life allows you to do. Right Is I think our past are very malleable right, and the quicker we can grab that past story and rewrite it in a way that allows us to come out as the hero. A lot of us like to see ourselves as the villain in our own story. Right. As fast we can write ourselves as the hero, the easier it is to. The faster you can elevate in your life in general, the happier you're going to be, the easier it's going to be to surround yourself with like minded people who want to be happier and want to be more successful.

Speaker 2:

So I also think a lot of times I'm gonna say it's the easy thing to do. I want to be careful with that too, but I find that you know, it's kind of easier to look at where we're making mistakes, where we're messing up, what's going wrong. It's difficult to sit back and say, man, in that same situation, where was the lesson? Where did I grow? Where was I a little bit maybe more resilient than I was the time before. Right harder to find those lessons, but we take the time to do that work just a little bit more. It's gonna be dividends.

Speaker 1:

Oh yeah, dude, that's awesome. I feel like we kind of both of talking about the mindset and then the gratitude. To me, those are both Like practices of reflection. So flipping it, flipping it there. How often are you looking at goal settings, like goal setting goals and looking to achieve and and how do you? How do you do that? You set the bar super high, like these 10x kind of guys, or do you have smaller incremental goals, like how do you look forward?

Speaker 2:

For me, man, like I kind of divide my day, my, my years, into 90 day sprints, right, and for me, like I'll pick To do this, usually always three red, so three major goals and I'm trying to work across maybe various disciplines and I really try to kind of walk that back where on an individual day maybe all three are not getting attacked but there's micro goals that move me towards that needle of the first. For me. I like me person, everyone's different so but for me personally I used to do the you know 10 massive goals here and there and I just kind of felt like the squirrel was running after everything but my energy was never concentrated to actually help me bring home the nuts. You feel me so Like I feel like dividing myself into those 90 day sprints, one really like Head is down and these are the three things that I'm chasing, and like I've got a board where you know what did I move closer than I? Not today, right, so I'm not going to be perfect.

Speaker 2:

So if I get the three checks in a row and I get two x's, my goal is let's not make that the sonic standard street always think about, like the 72 and 10 golden state war is a couple years back, right. So this is this, this team of per, essentially perfection. They blew past the michael jordan 72 and 10 team right, and they may have lost one game in a row, they may have lost two, but, sure enough, they went back to those skills and principles. They didn't push it to a third or fourth. So that's how I kind of try to look at my attack, with my goals as well. I'm not gonna be a perfect human being, but I'm chasing excellence, not perfection. So I'm getting a little bit better. It's gonna leave me in a good, pretty pretty good place, you know, a year from now, or 30 days from now, 60 days long. That's about that's my mindset around it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I love that I try to do. I try to do something very similar, especially because I also share a background in strength and conditioning. It's you periodizing your personal development pretty much like hey what are we working on on this training block? How are you gonna get there? Let's break it down and then afterwards it's that okay. How did we do? Yes, we change anything, do we want to rest it or what?

Speaker 2:

and then you just attack it, continue going forward there and that that performance review at the end of them, exactly I love it.

Speaker 1:

I love it yeah it's tough sometimes, though, and you gotta, like I know, for me personally, I have to schedule it in like really reflect and recap, like hey, how did I do? Did I stick to the commitments that I said I was going to do? Am I? Still on track, or do I need to change and alter things?

Speaker 2:

100%. I think being flexible is, you know, that's for me. I agree with you. It's been so important, right, like so you know, I'm looking at an organizer now my week, you know, I plug in my workouts. First I gotta keep that cup full, plug in the client sessions, and then I look for the blocks and like not just block time here, it's empty, it's like block, this is exactly what needs to be done with this time. Then then the week I sit back and review like how did I actually use that time? What happened? What popped up was able to be productive? Does that goal need to be cut down? Maybe a little bit more, so that it's a little bit, maybe more concise and actionable? Right, because it needs to be made smaller. So I totally agree. I think it's this on being able to step back and not just be super rigid with everything right, like being able to take a punch and respond in different ways and be able to be able to change your game plan to fit how things actually going in the game.

Speaker 1:

Nice. Yeah, man, I love that. No, speaking of which you might share in a little bit about some of the goals you got going on right now, because about a month into the new year, so what do you got planned?

Speaker 2:

So for me, man, I'm trying to kick off the next iteration of my 12 week group coaching course and you know I do a lot of stuff with kettlebell training as well and the meditation.

Speaker 2:

And you know, originally this program was essentially more so about teaching eating skills, so helping people learn how to lose fat sustainably and be able to keep it off just by these habits. But I really am trying to find a better way of like. A lot of kettlebells have been really kind of diving into them over the past year and they've just made me feel just more athletic. We have the two kids being able to do the workouts from anywhere, you know I mean that's just been very helpful. So I kind of want to use this and kind of weave this into them, so kind of figuring out exactly what that looks like and the meditation aspect as well, and exactly the way I'm going to deliver this, because I think it's going to change based on how I've done in the past. But that's a big thing, so I want to get that off the ground. Speaking, that's another thing man Like, and this year a big goal of mine was to do a keynote right. So just breaking that down into the smaller steps. So joined a group called Speaker Space, just getting around other people no one who are doing it in the genre, people who are where I want to go right. So you know, working with a coach to help break down my story and just kind of look at my angle, right. So that's been a big thing for me too.

Speaker 2:

And then finally as well, man, the self-awareness angle. Like I find that in times in the past I'm such a dude like I, like I'm very proactive with my business and growing and expanding, and that has come at the sacrifice of me being present with my family at times. So when I'm really trying to work on, you know, across these goals, I try to have like the business discipline and maybe relationship one. So for me in that relationship aspect it's been really, if my phone is off for the day for business, I'm on, do not disturb, it's a little wet, right.

Speaker 2:

I'm fully present with my kids. I'm fully present my way, getting back to scheduling and organizing fun dates for the two of us and getting babysitters for the kids, like little things like that. Where you know all the success that I want to build in and grow. I want a family who loves me and who is actively present there to share with me when I reach these milestones. Right, and I found in the past I've just been like business, business, work, work, work, stress, stress, stress, and like I'm really trying to like approach this year and like slow, slow down, go slow to go fast. So those are my main three to kind of kick this 2024 off right now.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I love that Because, like, that's like speaking perfectly to me, because that's essentially what I give my keynote on is I talk about robot mode and how robot mode isn't necessarily a bad thing because their robots are efficient and they get all the work done that they need to. But the problem with robot mode is is when you get stuck in it and the robots, they lack that awareness, that consciousness and things around you. You lose that human side of yourself. So I talk about how, like when I was stuck in that robot mode, I was working eight to 12 hour days, seven days a week for about three years.

Speaker 1:

My dad passed away and I totally unfazed me. My relationship with my girlfriend at the time was terrible. I stopped hanging out with a lot of my friends and I just really lost health and everything. Yeah, I was making a lot of money, but I lost who I was, that human side, and it wasn't until I was like hey, I got to get out of this and get back into human mode and really, really start to redevelop who I am as a human, and that's like, yeah, that's a tough time to get through.

Speaker 1:

But once I got through it, now I've now I'm continuing and trying to help others do the same thing, make sure that they still have their focus on their business, but they still want to look good and feel good too. So that's kind of my three disciplines when I'm cold. Setting is have something to find what it means to look good, what it means to feel good and what it means to do good, do great things. So I love one of those goals and I work towards it through the year, so I love that.

Speaker 2:

Rob, I love that and you know I'm interested. I can't wait to hear one of your key notes in person, but that's the goal of mine too. I want to connect with you further and that message really just it's out of my heart there and resonate with me deeply, brother. So I appreciate you for sharing that, Of course Of course, of course.

Speaker 1:

So a minute ago, when you were getting into the goals and such there, you were talking about how your program, you were focusing on nutrition and I kind of wanted to talk to you a little bit about nutrition. I feel like I don't get to talk as much here and it's a huge part of everyone's lives. So I want to ask you how does nutrition one affect your mindset and your ability to be grateful? If it does, how does that give you more energy and things like that? Can you give me a little bit about your take on that?

Speaker 2:

100% man. I feel like, just like we are what we think, I feel like we become what we consume, whether it's media, whether it's the stickers, bars and not to say, for me, I'm a big, balanced guy. I feel like, as far as we know it, we live one life. So I want you out here and join your life, but I want you out here as well, putting more things into your body or consuming more that leaves you feeling like a higher version of yourself. So, with a lot of my people too as well, I like taking that skills or habit based approach. I come with a lot of people who at least my population. I've worked with people who do the macros and they want the specific calorie numbers, but I've found I've really gravitated more towards the people who just want skills, or rather skills and guidelines that they can apply across their brand, the broad spectrum of the life. So working on skills such as eating slower and being more mindful right. So a lot of us are. We're always eating in front of a screen or you know, we're consuming meals as we're spraying to the next spot or jumping over the next turnstile to get to the next person. Right? But like you, number one, there's so much research and statistics behind that just saying number one you eat more, but you're even at that meal itself. But you're also more likely to eat more at the following meal. You're also more likely to forget what you had at the meal prior or the day before. So I really feel like slowing down and just being more present, not only will you just enjoy your food more, but you'll just definitely make more quality choices. You'll end up ultimately eating less because you're just more locked into where you are, if that makes sense. I do a lot of stuff around like five senses, mindfulness when it comes to food right. Being able to taste your food, smelling it, yeah, like really, you know, form a love bond with that plate. You feel me Like being a real active participant in that.

Speaker 2:

So, helping people distinguish between being actually hungry and eating for emotional reasons, right. Like if every time you jump off the phone with your mom, it's like you got to crack off the bottle of wine because you're stressed out over one. Well, we got to start to look at those habits and kind of interject and plug in something that might be a little bit more as self-serving, so to speak. Right, other things like plating, plating nutrient dense meals. Like so many of us like once again too we don't think about meals prior to even starting the day.

Speaker 2:

So you're hungry at noon and then you finally sit down and say, what do I have in the fridge to have? And then maybe you're ordering off of Uber Eats all the time because of this, but they actually sit down and you say to yourself now where's my protein, where's my healthy fat? And it's building the skills of being able to create a plate and looking at quantities based on, like a palm type method. So that's kind of how I let the population I kind of deal with and help just kind of get a little bit better once that's on, by making just better choices in that aspect.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I love that and you pretty much going down the same route that I try to take is like planning ahead. You go into any restaurant. They have a set menu of different items you can choose from and, whether you'd like to admit it or not, most people have their go to meals that they have, whether it's like Taco Tuesday, pizza Friday whatever it might be.

Speaker 1:

We all have like habits of different kinds of food. So bringing awareness to what you're eating and starting to build those kind of like menus like oh yeah, this is my go to snack that I'll have if I end up running late and I don't get to have lunch or whatever I feel like being prepared and having these tools is where real magic comes into play 100%.

Speaker 2:

I think preparation is so big and also I feel like a lot of times people tend to run across the same obstacles over and over and over again.

Speaker 2:

So even after you have that plan of you know and then, as I said, doesn't need to be perfect Like if there's, let's say, you're doing like three meals and a snack and you got like 28 boxes on a grid you're filling out.

Speaker 2:

You don't need every single box filled out, right, but the more you can have an understanding of this is what is going to go on to my plate, the easier it's going to be to live a healthier life. And then I believe that, in terms of preparing for things that could go wrong and advance of them, going wrong is a big thing, right? So if you look ahead at your schedule and you know you got this jam packed day, how can you have things on hands pre done already? So when the time comes to eat, you're not thinking about it, right? So you got a stressful parent teacher conference and you already know your kids been wallowing out this semester Like what are some things you could put in place, maybe that day to be stressed prior? So you're not reaching towards the pantry. So, literally like preparation and thinking ahead, to set yourself up for success is massive.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, what you said there just reminds me of Steve Jobs and his like wardrobe, same like all, like the turtleneck and jeans kind of thing, like if you have it already planned and you know what you're going to be doing or eating, it removes that like decision fatigue. So then you don't have to rely as much on like willpower of oh, do I want to do this or do I want to go to the gym, or yeah.

Speaker 2:

I think that's so powerful.

Speaker 1:

I love that you just said a minute ago to. You said something about slowing down and using your senses to like enjoy the food, like actually smelling it and tasting it. I don't know if you know this, but I'm actually a meatball eating champion. I did not know this.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I love that though man, I competed in this meatball eating competition here in Stanford, Connecticut, and I just like it was me versus like 30 or 40 other competitors and I was just crushing them and thinking back on it like I don't even remember if the meatballs were good. I just was just eating them as quickly as possible because I didn't even smell them. I was just go, go, go, go go.

Speaker 2:

So I feel like the goal is a little bit different than that we're trying to get as much as possible. We're trying to shut off those senses and just like go crazy that's amazing. I love that man.

Speaker 1:

But I feel like everybody's going through that because, like you, said they're so go go, go, go and busy distracted with this phone or TV or something that use that senses 100%.

Speaker 2:

I think it takes time for you to bring your stomach to get on the same frequency and like just catch up with each other. So if you're on this mad rush. If you're trying to be Rob and like, win your meatball eating contest every single day, like it's really going to be taking the opposite direction of those, the goals of just being more present and, you know, eat more nutrient and stuff. So I hear you on that, brother, like the more present you can be, it just, it just makes things a little bit easier.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and it's. It's so crazy too, when you really do just kind of slow down and figure out what like, what the food's doing to you and how is making you feel. I was just talking with my girlfriend the other day and I was eating a bunch of food that I typically wouldn't normally have and I'm just like man, this is so good and I just kept eating, eating, eating, and then, like 20 minutes later, I'm starving and I'm like geez, I'm like you know this junk food, I'm eating so many calories but I'm not getting any nutrients. And then I, and then I realized I'm like I'm still hungry because my body's craving that stuff 100%.

Speaker 1:

I think that's a big piece too.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, 100%, but like just that, when you can make those connections between these are certain foods that energize me, these are certain foods that maybe take away these certain foods that you know maybe it's good to have in this quantity. Like when you get that understanding goes we're all different, right so of how your body operates, it's way easier to set yourself up for success and then you can start to also see, like, what are certain foods that maybe you feel like you have less control around, or what are some foods that you should have more around and abundance, because they make you feel like the legend that you are Right, like I think that's, that's does. Epic was other ways man to just make make eating healthier and just making living a healthier existence, existence funner and more enjoyable.

Speaker 1:

Oh yeah, the easier we can make this stuff on ourselves, the better 100% man. So what are we looking at in a timeframe for this new edition of your 12 week coaching program? Have that rolled out, or is that like in the future, or what?

Speaker 2:

So that's end of end of March, honestly. So right now it's just really about, you know, engagement and you know build them, have some freemium built out and just kind of like missing the exact word for this Climb up. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Yeah, just just just getting more people in the funnel. Essentially, let's say that I get more people in the funnel for it and eventually I'm going to watch it with like a nice 40 challenge and kick that off at the end of March.

Speaker 2:

But right now it's just, you know, podcasting, doing lives, just making reels, making content, taking the stories from my clients, crafting them in ways that just help gravitate more of the people who are like them Well, I enjoy working with, bring them into the funnel. In terms of the speaking stuff, same thing crafting out the story and just getting more comfortable sharing that story and and like, um, you know, even the biggest piece with the, with the keynote stuff. Just seeing what I'm excited about, I feel like there's a lot of things that like pump me up. But I really want to kind of go down the lane of, you know, the, the, the find the combination between how can impact the most, but also what just generally lights me up to talk about. So I guess I'm still in the process of figuring that out.

Speaker 2:

And then the other weekly goal is this you know, like scheduling the date, the date night each week and just really trying to be vigilant about the hours that I keep in terms of that Right, like scheduling it.

Speaker 2:

This is what's being worked on, like you know, on a day on day basis, when I have my schedule for my day, really trying to stick to that Like a lot of times in the past side, flipping and grabbing the phone when it rings out, or having clients kind of text in, just getting back at all hours of day for things that aren't super urgent. They don't need to be, like, addressed right in that moment. And I found that, um, initially, while that was difficult and hard to do, people are understanding when you set boundaries for yourself, because that's exactly what boundaries are, in my opinion, right. They kind of they're teaching other people how to treat you, but also teaching yourself what you're willing to accept. You know so, but I'm trying to be much better with the boundaries and that's a hard thing to do, like when you're just, you just want to always be working and absorbing new knowledge and trying to put on new skills, like slowing down that aspect and understand there's much more to life than justice.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I know, even sometimes still, I kind of struggle with holding myself to the boundaries that I stick to. I got to constantly remind myself bigger picture and like, hey, you know, this is what I said I was going to do. So, um, so tell me a little bit more about the program when it, when it does come out, so it's, it's going to be uh, it's like a 12 week thing. Is it one on one, coaching with you? Is it in a group setting, like? Can you explain a little bit about that?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so in the past, um, in the past, how I've done it was it was essentially it's a group coaching course. You know, I program the workouts for everyone for that 12 weeks. We meet once a week and we kind of go through essentially a main topic for that week. People are partnered up, um, how in the past we kind of go through the same scheme like everyone's kind of working on the same skill at the same time. But you know, as I've just continued to evolve and grow it, I just understand people, just flexible beings who are at different stages in their evolution, so to speak. So I've simplified the amount of skills or the type of skills that we're working on and I kind of I'm still figuring out how to cultivate it in a way where, you know, person A and C can come in and they can still be working on different skills but still kind of find that way of connection, if that makes sense.

Speaker 2:

I think a big piece of the group reminds me of being a college athlete, right Like me, being able to lean into my team.

Speaker 2:

And it's one thing going through and experience yourself, but it's a whole other thing being able to lean into the person to your left and right when you're not feeling your best or you know, maybe their flame is going out, but you're feeling extra pumped up and you can kind of lean to the left and light them back up on fire, right, like, yeah, like that's been the coolest part.

Speaker 2:

So right now I'm kind of in the scheme of just trying to maximize it. But I think you know, a lot of times too, as an entrepreneur, I've struggled in the past of trying to just that perfection type mindset. I need to continuously sitting back and talk to myself and let myself know that this is just something that's going to get better every single time and the iteration may change this or maybe tweet, but that's okay. Like it itself is going to be just in development. The more I do it, the more I grow, and I'll kind of figure that out. So, like, like what I was talking about, even with the Bells, like I'm thinking about experimenting with doing like live workouts as a team throughout the course of it right, like so different things like that live meditations together.

Speaker 2:

So I'm just trying to see the you know, while I'm trying to build independence for people, right, but you know, also kind of finding the balance between you know, helicopter, helicopter, dad, and this like being a part of every aspect, but also, you know, letting them grow their wings on their own to be able to fly. So just finding that balance. I felt like that's where I'm kind of, you know, right now, kind of writing things out and just kind of testing some things and just seeing what feels the most comfortable to me.

Speaker 1:

You know. So, yeah, that's important. It's got to fit for your style of coaching and everything.

Speaker 2:

Exactly, exactly.

Speaker 1:

Now, who is the program for? Is it for just athletes, because like your strength conditioning background, or is it?

Speaker 2:

No, no, not even just for athletes. Honestly, like you know, I get a lot of it's for individuals who they're tired of. They're tired of the 30 day fixes or, you know, going back to the same diet that they felt worked, but is it really given them as results long term? I'm looking for the people who are looking to. They're looking to make these changes and they're looking to make the changes that you know they'll benefit them three, five, 10 years down the line.

Speaker 2:

Like so, I have people who are 45 years old who've never played a sport in the life like but the beauty of stuff with this, like the bells and but actually, you know, like to me, I feel like the tools, depending on whatever tools they have, it can be brought out in terms of athleticism if that makes sense. But like I really, I really kind of do want to kind of make this geared around the kettlebell.

Speaker 2:

But, um, yeah, like like it's, it doesn't. You don't need to be an athlete. I want to unleash your inner athlete. I want to show you that you know, if you have a body, in my opinion it is athletic. You are an athlete, you're meant to. You know shuffle, crawl, run, sprint, change directions, and you know.

Speaker 2:

I find that when people, especially people who don't have a background of doing something, doing so in an organized fashion, when they're able to express their bodies and move in this different way, there's something extremely empowering about that and it's really cool to witness somebody do that. Like somebody who's, you know, like a 55 year old mom. You know double clean, 235 KGs, and she's just like Holy shit. You know, like it's a cool. It's a cool thing to watch people overcome their self perceived limitations of themselves and write a different story. Like it's beautiful. That stuff lights me on fire, you know. So I'm just happy to be the athlete doing it. But I think we're all. We all have that. We all have that competitor inside of us who you know if we, if we put them in the right situation, can be let off the leash to just go.

Speaker 1:

Cool. So people are interested in signing up for this. Do they have to wait until the end of March, or can people reach out to you now and kind of see what's going on or or what?

Speaker 2:

So you know, like I'm open now for for one on one training and coaching, but the group will kick off, is. You know? I like taking everyone through this on a journey, right? So you can message me, jump on the wait list. So I'm a group wise, like what will kick things off together as a team and we'll dominate it together. I'm excited about that.

Speaker 1:

Cool. So how do people reach you and stay connected and see what you're doing or ask you questions and things like that?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you're the man, rob. I appreciate you, man. You can reach me on Instagram at sojijames1, that's sojijames1. You also go over to sojijamescom and yeah, and I'm eager and excited to help and connect. If I sound like somebody who is in your wheelhouse of energy and you're interested, please shoot me a message. Or if there's one gem that was able to help you, just let me know. I'm really, really lucky to have shared this platform with you, rob, thank you so damn much brother, Thank you.

Speaker 1:

There you go, guys. So if you, if you're interested in the group or some one on one coaching, reach out to them on social media or even just shoot them a message. Tell them which piece of value resonated most with you. On this talk, man, I took away a whole lot of things and I genuinely appreciate you taking this time to out of your day because I know you're very busy. Come on and share your value with the audience and I love the energy and everything and I want to be courteous of your time. So, before I let you go, I got to ask you, man, if you were to boil everything down and if you were to give one piece of advice to help survive the side hustle, what would that be?

Speaker 2:

You got to constantly be living in the game and not living in the gap, right? Don't measure yourself against the ideal of where you feel like you need to be right now. Measure yourself against the person who you were yesterday, who you're improving from. Live in the game, don't live in the gap man. The gap is a. It'll suck you dry. But if you're constantly living and leading from a place of gratitude, a place of celebration of yourself, you're going to be in a very, very good place. Self-compassion is not a weakness.

Speaker 1:

Love that man. I love that. Thank you so much again. I can't wait to connect with you again in person and see what you got going on and following you through your journey as speaker, coach, father, all of it, man. Appreciate you, rob.

Speaker 2:

Thank you so much. Let's be game better, brother. Thank you brother. Thank you, peace out guys.