Surviving the Side Hustle
Authentic Growth: Benjamin John's Strategy for Holistic Success and Real Connections
Imagine transforming your entrepreneurial spirit into a journey filled with authenticity, heart, and real-world wisdom. That's exactly what Benjamin John, a former carpenter turned successful business owner, brings to the table in our latest episode. His unique, non-aggressive approach to scaling businesses by focusing on personal growth, authentic connections, and mindful practices challenges the conventional hustle and grind mentality. As Benjamin unfolds the story of his brand, Massive Impact, into a trifecta of business, health and strength, and relationships, you'll discover the holistic strategy that's been crucial to his success.
Dive headfirst into the depths of self-knowledge with us as we explore how meditation and intuition can drastically alter our lives. Benjamin and I tackle the elusive gap between knowing what's beneficial for us and taking action. We shed light on the power of authenticity, drawing on the wisdom of thinkers like Jordan Peterson, to discuss the courage it takes to bring our true selves to the forefront, especially in professional settings. This episode is a masterclass in understanding how self-awareness not only guards against fear but also propels us toward higher states of consciousness and more profound personal discoveries.
As we wrap up, get ready to be inspired by the art of building genuine, heartfelt connections. We delve into the significance of investing in relationships without the expectation of immediate return and the role of compassionate communication in creating lasting bonds. Whether it's through one-on-one coaching or inviting listeners to join in on upcoming retreats, the message is clear: authenticity forms the foundation of meaningful interactions. If you're ready to foster passion and authenticity in your own communication, this dialogue is an essential listen. Join us as we thank our incredible community and reiterate our eagerness to connect with each of you, encouraging personal and professional growth together.
Imagine transforming your entrepreneurial spirit into a journey filled with authenticity, heart, and real-world wisdom. That's exactly what Benjamin John, a former carpenter turned successful business owner, brings to the table in our latest episode. His unique, non-aggressive approach to scaling businesses by focusing on personal growth, authentic connections, and mindful practices challenges the conventional hustle and grind mentality. As Benjamin unfolds the story of his brand, Massive Impact, into a trifecta of business, health and strength, and relationships, you'll discover the holistic strategy that's been crucial to his success.
Dive headfirst into the depths of self-knowledge with us as we explore how meditation and intuition can drastically alter our lives. Benjamin and I tackle the elusive gap between knowing what's beneficial for us and taking action. We shed light on the power of authenticity, drawing on the wisdom of thinkers like Jordan Peterson, to discuss the courage it takes to bring our true selves to the forefront, especially in professional settings. This episode is a masterclass in understanding how self-awareness not only guards against fear but also propels us toward higher states of consciousness and more profound personal discoveries.
As we wrap up, get ready to be inspired by the art of building genuine, heartfelt connections. We delve into the significance of investing in relationships without the expectation of immediate return and the role of compassionate communication in creating lasting bonds. Whether it's through one-on-one coaching or inviting listeners to join in on upcoming retreats, the message is clear: authenticity forms the foundation of meaningful interactions. If you're ready to foster passion and authenticity in your own communication, this dialogue is an essential listen. Join us as we thank our incredible community and reiterate our eagerness to connect with each of you, encouraging personal and professional growth together.
What's going on? Today in the show Got my good friend Benjamin John Dude. We've been buddies for a while now. I don't even, to be honest, I don't even remember where we first met, but a lot of conferences, speaker schools. We connected somewhere along the line. So what's going on, dude? How you been, it's been a minute.
Speaker 2:Yeah, dude, I am fantastic. And yeah, we were just briefly chatting about this. I think it's definitely been over like a year since we've actually got a one-on-one together. But you're right, man, I do so much networking, like yourself, and a lot of events and whether it's speaking or web virtual events, that sometimes I forget. Like where did I meet that guy? But I think it was at some type of speaker school, you know, with our dear friend Brandon perhaps. But yeah, man, you're one of those individuals that I did see and I felt your energy. Man, I think it was actually the A to B con one. I'm pretty sure that's where it was. And when I heard you spoke, you know I pay attention to people and I pay attention to energies and you had a really good heart and you had a really good message to people and that stuff that I take note of and I gravitate towards. So ever since then, I kind of made sure to keep you as a good contact and a good friend.
Speaker 1:Dude, I love that. I appreciate that so much, See, that's why I like hanging around with you, dude. You also got a lot of great energy. Yeah, before we get off onto too much here, would you care sharing a little bit more about who you are and who you kind of help and what she got?
Speaker 2:going on pretty much yeah man Gosh, how much time you got. I got so much going on these days. You know I don't like to. Even when I publicly speak I really don't like to talk about like my accomplishments, what I've done, my titles, stuff like that. I really try to save that for personal connections and people to actually reach out to me so I get to know them, they get to know me on a personal level. But as far as who I help, man, I help everybody in life and business. So the business aspect is I'm gonna help you scale your business the right way.
Speaker 2:I was taught the wrong way for several years and that wrong way to me is grinding, pushing, pitching, closing, follow up, follow up, follow up and more follow up and negotiating and shut it down their throat. And I don't teach business that way. I keep it simple, man. You give them a good experience, you answer all their questions, you give them all the information you need and you leave them alone. If they ever become interested they're gonna reach out to you. You gave them everything you need and you did your part. So that's how I'm changing the industry with that. And then, when it comes to life, man, I help people just get more authentic and stand up for what they believe in and really speak their minds, start getting passionate about stuff and stop regurgitating stuff that they're learning and be themselves and know themselves.
Speaker 1:More importantly, Wow, yeah, man, that's pretty cool stuff there. I like your approach to business and also with life too. Love that. Yeah, that's important stuff, man. So tell me a little bit about the wrong way of scaling the business. So how did that go and how'd you get into that and what helped you correct your path to get into scaling in a correct manner, I guess?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's a good question. So right now I just am kind of in the middle of rebranding and restructuring my main business, which is Massive Impact, and I'm turning that into three companies Massive Impact Business. Massive Impact Health and Strength, kind of something that you're involved in, and then Massive Impact Relationships, and when I say relationships, partnerships, parenting, friends, family pretty much all across the board. The way I got into business in general was I was a carpenter for 12 years. I used to build like Victorian style conservatories all glass, glazed rooms, hard work and then I started my own company doing the same thing for the next six years.
Speaker 2:So I've been in that industry going on gosh almost 18 years now, and so that was the first company that I was able to scale, and during that process I actually latched onto a mentor. I'm not gonna name drop him now, but if you follow my Instagram page you'll know exactly who I'm talking about. I call him out all the time and I was taught the wrong things. I got in partnership with him for about three and a half years, became a business coach for his organization on top of while I was still so I guess that was a side hustle, right Hence, which is kind of relative to surviving the side hustle.
Speaker 1:That was my side hustle, so I'll try to grow my business.
Speaker 2:But what I noticed was my business that was doing well, actually started doing worse when I got this mentorship from this multi-billionaire that everybody idolized. And I got blinded and I didn't see it. I was so engrossed in this atmosphere and in this community that I actually couldn't see that I was doing things the wrong way and I couldn't actually see that my business was doing worse and I forgot how I'd even scaled my business to be a multi-million dollar company in the first place, and that was really through personal connections. He taught me how to go from personal connections into chasing money, into being so driven to chase money and kind of be someone I wasn't and I didn't realize that. And to give you the law, the short version, because honestly I can't do this justice without explaining a lot more.
Speaker 2:But what happened to me was I went through this massively intense spiritual moment and it wasn't one moment, it wasn't two, it wasn't three, it wasn't four, it wasn't five, it was literally like 30 plus different scenarios that happened to me in about a four or five week period condensed. That really just woke me up to everything. I was in everything. I've ignored, all the signs I ignored, and in doing that, I ended up separating myself from that community and started getting back to what worked and what I knew to be true, and that was myself, and that was meaningful relationships, man.
Speaker 1:Wow, that's pretty crazy. So, because it wasn't just like one, two, three, four, five different things, that really kind of led to it. You said it was like over 30 different things, so there had to have been like a final straw that really flipped the switch right, or was it? Did you just be like, wow, I've been going through a lot of different things and I think it's time to something's gotta change.
Speaker 2:Yeah, man, how do I describe it? Without getting into like a spiritual, religious, deep conversation like that? The best way I can explain it is that I was receiving these compelling feelings to do certain things. It was so strong I couldn't ignore it. And I'll just tell you the first one I got. The first one was let go. I didn't know what the hell that meant, I didn't know what was going on, but it was so intense that I heard it loud and clear and I took it literal. I'm talking. I started letting go, man. I let go of wanting things from people, wanting expectations, chasing money, wanting to be right or wrong, wanting answers, wanting to understand, wanting money, wanting to be successful. I let go of fear. I'm talking everything, dude.
Speaker 2:Once I did that holy shit hopefully you can cuss on this my life changed, dude, and I started receiving more compelling feelings, just like that. And to answer your question about that one moment, it's really hard to say the one moment, but there are a handful that really just kind of woke me up, and one of those was like a feeling to sit down and pay attention to the things I was ignoring for the last few years, and it was like a flash, almost like people described your life flashing before your eyes, kind of like that. And there was literally all these scenarios that felt wrong to me when I seen it and went through it and I was like, oh fuck, dude, I ignored that, like that happened, and I was so brainwashed that I talked myself into thinking it was okay or justify why I shouldn't pay attention to it and I should just keep ignoring that. So that's kind of how those moments went. And then again there's so many I can't do it justice because there's so many crazy moments that I have. And to give you an example of how crazy this was, I would have like a dream.
Speaker 2:And this guy that I met in London never only met him, virtually had the same dream. And next thing, you know, over a two or three week period, we would talk to each other and I'm like, dude, we should make this dream come true. And then the next thing, you know, I'm flying them into Florida. We're making this dream come true, all the stuff we both dream, dreamt. This is why you can't make this shit up, dude, it's a documentary in itself. And then what happened on the beach when we had the dream of that we both had on the beach. Oh my god, I can't even this story itself. I won't go into detail, but I'll just tell you this the things that happened while we were fulfilling the dream on the beach blew my mind, and so I was validated. There's something bigger out there, man, and it woke me up. This is what I could say.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's, that's pretty powerful stuff there. I remember I remember, just randomly, I had this crazy dream that I was introduced on stage by Our, by our buddy Brandon, and it was so real. I could see everything, so much detail and everything. I remember talking to him the next day and I was like dude, this was like a weird dream. He's like yo, let's, let's get, let's get speaking, let's get this rolling, and then the rest is history from there. So, yeah, this something powerful about these different dreams, and I want to just ask you again for like to kind of dive back in, if you can. What was it like when you just finally let go? And then you? It must have been a huge sense of like relief for calm, or or what was that like?
Speaker 2:Oh, my god, I'm so glad you asked this question. You know it was. It was actually very relieving. Primarily the doubt, the fear and then certainty that I let go of. I Realized that was weighing on me and it doesn't even have to be a lot, you know, there's some people that just have a small amount of it, but even that is enough to just fester and grow and weigh on a person and man.
Speaker 2:What happened with that was I'll just put it this way, there were things that I was taught to chase right Money, success. I was looking for answers and other people, people who have done it, people who have people who have Done it, people who appeared to be successful, people to have had a lot of money. What I, what actually started happening man is, in a two-week period, give or take All the things that I used to chase Literally fell in my lap. I kid you not dude, these massively cool relationships I was. I was wanting previously money I had been waiting on for three years and it's not.
Speaker 2:It was the specific timing on which it happened. It was so wild man like Every, all I can say is that everything I used to chase is literally starting to come to me. But I took notice that like, wow, these are the things I used to want, these are the things I used to chase for the last five, six years, and it all just came right to me. And now it was even crazy. That I noticed was I didn't even want it. I was just massively grateful for it. Dude, completely different way of living.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you, you said something a second ago how some people when they when they hold on to certain things, it might not even be that big or that crazy, but sometimes it's the small things that you hold on to for a long period of time that really do the most damage and weigh us down. And they had me thinking about this. This one, guys, that's one video that I saw once. The guy speaking he was talking, he asked somebody to hold a glass of water. You hold the glass of water and it's like totally fine, which you hold it for two or three, five minutes and starts it now your arms getting a little tired, but if you ask him to hold that for 24 hours straight, their arms gonna feel like it's about to fall off. Yeah, that was like a perfect, perfect example of what you, what, how you brought that out with just something, even the smallest thing, can weigh so much down.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's a great analogy and it's so true and you don't even notice it because it happens so slowly is the thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I also really like how everything just started clicking and falling to pieces for you and it's crazy. I know I don't. Really I try not to be too About certain things, but I know when I get consistent with my meditation and I'm just like give myself that downtime, there's just kind of thinking my own headspace, dude. It's like it's like magic how certain things just happen to fall into my lap. I got like random people will just stop me on the road back. Hey, are you a coach? Are you taking on new clients? And I'd be like, yes, it's like the most random stuff like that kind of happens. You see that still kind of like that. I guess unique luck or Strangeness kind of happening.
Speaker 2:Still hundred still, I'm still in the flow state, as they call it. That happens quite frequently and I'll tell you this, man those moments, those what some people would seem to call a coincidence, those moments that you know that you feel these intense feelings during the meditation or anything unusual and unexplainable that happens during meditation, that's a very real thing, it's a very deliberate thing that's going on there and I would I just encourage people to lean into that. I don't need to tell you that, hey, it's God, or go into detail or anything like that. You can do that math yourself, whatever that is for you. But what I will say is, when your intuition and your consciousness is like fully clear and wiped clean, pay attention to that, because it's very simple If it feels wrong, it's wrong.
Speaker 2:If it feels right, it's right. Those feelings, that and and and those, those moments that they're like wow, this is crazy. It feels like like the timing and this is so strangely weird. Pay attention to that and lean into it a little bit more, because it is very Deliberate. I promise, man and that was something I pretty much was a pretty much hit with over and over and over, yeah, and again, I got some crazy stories that would just blow your mind. I mean just stories, just like I told you where I'm having a dream, he's having a dream and yeah, me being in other people's dreams and just crazy stuff, dude that you're like no way.
Speaker 1:I like how you mentioned that there, how like lean into your gut feelings, and I feel like not enough people do that nowadays, because you boil it all down Like let's just talk about health and like fitness, for example, everybody knows what they need to do you need to exercise, you need to move more. You don't need to have the perfect plan, you just probably need to be doing something a little more active. Same thing with nutrition you know what you should be eating and you know what you shouldn't be eating or reducing, but people tend not to do it. So, and you can get the same feeling too when you connect with somebody and you just get that feeling like ah, this guy might not be perfectly aligned with what I want to be doing. Or this person here is yeah, this person is great, I need to hang around this person more, but yet still, people fall into the wrong crowds. They don't eat what they're supposed to, they never exercise, stretch, take care of their body. What do you think? Why do you think that it is?
Speaker 2:Yeah, man, I know exactly why that is. So there's a difference between knowing what you need to do and knowing yourself. This is why people are getting into things that they never thought they'd be into. Why people are getting sucked into cults like I did and a bunch of other mistakes that are happening to them, is because they don't know themselves. And I keep bringing this story up because I was enlightened to this.
Speaker 2:When my girlfriend told me this and we both talk about this quite a bit and I was telling her, I was like you know, I think the number one problem that people have is they have fear. They let fear come into their life and it feeds and people prey on it and it gets worse. And then she said you know, I actually think it's something other than that. It's something that happens before that and it's not knowing yourself. And I started thinking about it. I was like dang, you're right. I was like because if you don't know yourself, you can never allow that fear to grow in you. Now, I'm not saying no fear, but the way I like to look at it is like using the fear. Knowing yourself as an example is like I have fear, but I'm telling you, dude, it's like 1.2 seconds. I notice it and the switch gets flipped and it's gone, like I don't let it feed anything. Therefore, in my mind it's almost not even there.
Speaker 2:But to answer your question, it's knowing yourself. You know what you need to do, but now you need to know yourself. How do you work? What works best for you? And knowing yourself is gonna tap into that conscience I was telling you about. You're really gonna go on a much higher frequency that not a lot of people are on right now. The conscience to do what is right is a massively powerful level to be on the conscience to do what is right for you and other people, and that is being ignored and you're getting blinded by temptations money, sex, ego. People are chasing this stuff, and the more you chase that stuff you're gonna lose your conscience. It's a lot harder to see what is right to do, and so that's the biggest thing for me is, I would say, get to know yourself above. Know yourself, and then you're gonna start leaning into things that you know you need to be doing for yourself to level up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think once I I don't remember which podcast I was listening to, but it was something a hundred years ago and that's what turned me onto the app Headspace and that's what kind of brought me into a little more mindfulness practice, a little bit of meditating and that 10, 15 minute time out from the day to just kind of sit with my thoughts and try to control my mind, and really was like the opening for me, trying to then understanding who I am and certain things like that.
Speaker 1:And I really feel like too many people tune out way too much. You work all day so your head's not. You're not in your head. You're doing something else, performing tasks. You get home, you're immediately sucked into your phone, you're watching TV. You're not spending time really getting to know yourself and I, just as you're saying there, I feel like once you know yourself, then you can open up to a lot more different frequencies or whatever however you wanna talk about it. But I think we prevent ourselves from getting to know each other or know our own selves way too much, and I think it's a lot of that content and turn it like we never turn. We never turn our thoughts inward and think about who we are or how we're going with things, and that's crazy.
Speaker 2:That's where that meditation comes in, man, you know you talked about how you utilize meditation and for me, I had an experience that I'm almost willing to bet most people have not had. I've had several experiences that I feel like a lot of people haven't had, but this one particular experience allowed me to actually visualize where my future is. It was so intense, man, that like it was like it's already happened. So it's like manifestation on the ultimate level. And so, therefore, when I tell people you know my girlfriend, she's big in the manifestation and affirmations and meditation and when I told her after I had this experience, I was like, look, babe, I don't need to manifest, I don't need to have affirmations because I've already seen what's going to happen. Now. I love meditation because it allows me to kind of just remind myself that I need to let go. Right, it's just another experience. To let go really is what I use meditation for, but again, it's just a whole another level. Going back to what I said about knowing yourself, right, if you're just manifesting and you're doing affirmations because everybody's saying you need to do this stuff, you don't know yourself Like maybe it's not for you, I
Speaker 2:can tell you right now, manifesting and affirmations are not for me, because I've already seen it, I'm already past that and I'm not being cocky or like full of myself or like talking myself into thinking that you know until it's true type thing. I know it 100%, without a shadow of a doubt. And again, I know a lot of people are like whatever dude, and that's okay Like who are you to tell me an experience I had? All I can tell you is that I had an experience, that I literally seen what's to come for me. So why would I try for something different? Why would I try and force it? Why would I try to do something? That's gonna mess that process up, if you will, but I think that's important to talk about when it comes to hold on one second. All right, sorry about that.
Speaker 2:We actually had to stop because we have an appointment to go later on. Not like it's gonna cut into this, but we're gonna go to the college here, local college, and put ourselves out there to speak in front of college people. So yeah, man, that's kind of right up our alley. But I don't know if you were picking up what I was putting down about my experience with manifesting and knowing yourself.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, yeah, definitely. So that's part of it too. So like they tell you these are the things you should do, but there's different ways, different experiences with it. When I first got into meditation and mindfulness practice, I thought, like this is how you do it You're either good at it or you're bad at it and I was kind of like grinding myself, like oh, I don't like can I just like focus doing this? And I realized like this is for me Like whatever works best for me to turn my brain off or to focus my thoughts and control my breathing and getting for myself. That's me, that's my way of doing it and everybody's unique. It's a little bit different.
Speaker 1:But I do want to ask you a question, because I remember reaching out to a friend of mine because they were posting a lot about visualization and kind of like the manifesting and those different things and I was like that seems like so easy. But then I tried to sit down to like kind of think about like okay, where do I want to see myself in the future? Where do I want to see myself like 10 years on the road? What am I doing, and things like that. It was difficult. Do you have any tips or advice on how you can kind of see that, because you already seen where you're going and what you're doing, but for somebody who might not have that clear picture or know exactly what they want, how do you even get that process started?
Speaker 2:Man, I really hope that, and I know I'm not the only one on this planet that's had this experience, but I really hope somebody hears this and listens to me because, honestly, the only reason I was able to tap into any of these other experiences that I mentioned was because I paid attention to the first feeling. Call it a message, call it a download, call it a feeling it was letting go 100% you let go of all the things.
Speaker 2:I mean I have a whole list of, like you know, 30 plus things I've been working on as far as a letting go list just to share with other people and if you want that, you can always reach out to me. I'll send it to you so you can understand how deep I'm going on this let and go thing. But that's probably the answer and the pathway and the portal to actually being able to see what is planned for you already. There's already a plan for you. You can control that process yourself or you can let it come to you and visualize it and then just listen to the guidance that, literally, if you believe in signs and things like that happening, I certainly do. Now I've had some.
Speaker 2:I mean, the day before all this stuff happened to me, there was a white lizard in my garage. Dude, I've never seen a lizard so white. It was smiling at me. It was the weirdest thing ever, dude. Then I Googled it because I didn't think it existed 100%. It does. It was like a white gecko and it's smiling and if you look it up, there's actually meaning to that. It means a spiritual like transformation is about to happen, or something like that. So there are, there is some deep meaning to things on this planet that are being put to you, in front of you, and, again, going back to that conscience, you're going to miss that stuff and the first thing you need to do is let go, especially when we're talking about manifesting or visualizing what, what is already planned for you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that man. Interesting about the white gecko. I'm going to look into that a little bit, but I do. I want to ask you now did you got goals? You got things going on. You've got, you've got this vision that you're working your way towards. What are some of those goals you got for this year? I think about 2024.
Speaker 2:So for this year, I actually am going to be focused a lot more on public speaking. The reason for that is because it's going to be so my my past experiences on public speaking. I'm not happy with it because I was a different person and I was not being authentic, my true self. I mean you might have noticed just by talking to me right now, I probably sound a lot different. My energy is way different, right? Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's because of these experiences, man, and I can literally look back on my actions and the things I approach and why I wasn't happy with it, why I behaved the way I did. It's because I bought into this stuff of what other, I care what people thought. You know, I bought these images of like what a when it comes to public speaking. Right, like, I wanted to be a person that I thought I needed to be, to look like a good public speaker or sound like a public speaker. You know, worried about the ums, worried about body language and posture and looking all nice Like man.
Speaker 2:The best public speaking I'm doing now is I don't care, dude, I don't care about any of that shit, and what's happening now is the real message I'm trying to get to people is actually doing its job and, unfortunately, when I focused too much on that stuff, I lost myself. I was not authentic and the whole reason for me even being on there to impact people just got watered down and diluted, man, and so I can't wait to get. I already got like three, three events scheduled up. I got one in a couple of weeks in Tampa, and then I got one in Texas and then I got one in Baltimore. The Baltimore one is going to be a big one because it's a book release. I'm in a, I'm in an anthology for my second book with like 15 other entrepreneurs and that that event's going to release that book, and then we're just going to have a bunch of other stuff going on.
Speaker 2:And then I plan on really pumping out my third book I've already been working on in the next few months, so I got that going on. But my to really sum it up in a nutshell, man, what I'm looking forward to is massively impacting people. Hence massive impact the right way, because now I am my full, authentic self and what's crazy cool is I know myself, man. So now I can actually do the right work and be the real example for people that that you know, some may or many I'm not going to say need, because that's a dangerous word. Nobody needs me to be in their life, nobody needs me to impact their life, but if it makes sense, I'm going to be their form.
Speaker 1:I know. I know this guy is can be pretty controversial. Some people love him, Some people hate him, Some. Some people are kind of indifferent. But I was listening to Jordan Peterson the other day. You ever listened to any of his stuff?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it's been a while, but yeah.
Speaker 1:I was listening to him talking and he made a point. I might be taking a little out of context, but the point was it younger guys, younger people, they get a job, they're working in this new industry or field or whatever it might be, and they're told they got to do something a certain way or they need to perform something and it has to go. They basically have to fall in line for their job and the individuals they kind of know that it's not directly the right thing to do, or maybe they should be doing it a different way, but they need to change who they are themselves to fit the role, to keep the job happy. And they tell themselves this lie, that I'm new here. So let me get a little couple of years under my belt so I can get some job security and then I'll speak up and then I'll change and then I'll go back to my authentic self.
Speaker 1:And Jordan Peterson made the point that that doesn't really make any sense because you're essentially waiting for a sense of security before you can be courageous. But you can't be courageous without risk. So as security goes up, you essentially you can't be as courageous. So eventually, down the line, once the risk essentially hits zero. It's like 20, 15, 20 years down the line you have now. Now you finally have enough security where you're. Now you can make that change. But because you've been lying to yourself for so long, you're no longer authentically you and you've lost sight of who you actually are. So now you just continue living that life of a lie. So I'm curious to hear what? What does your kind of take on that? Because that's like living through something else that's not you, and then because you're afraid to make that authentic action, and then really that in the long run you look back and you're like, damn now, now I've lost my life, I'm not even this person anymore. Is there coming back from that?
Speaker 2:Or what do you think there's coming back from that? Yeah, but that's not the way to approach it. And I agree with him. That is happening. That is literally happening. I just described how it happened to me.
Speaker 2:Whether I'm working for somebody or I'm getting mentorship from somebody, again, we're just going to bring it back to the same thing. If you don't know yourself and you don't speak up and you'll get passionate about something you don't stand up for anything, you're going to allow other people's thoughts to invade your thought process and you're going to pretty much become a robot and a regurgitated system for them. Like, if you don't know yourself and you don't speak up for what you believe in the right thing to do that conscience you might notice like everything just comes back to the same stuff. I'm talking about Letting go conscience, knowing yourself. It's that simple man. Like we're living in a day and age where people are afraid to speak up because of what people are going to think about them. Even if they're new at a job, you know how much volume that's going to scream Even if they let you go and they're like yeah, dude, you shouldn't be speaking your mind, we're actually going to let you go for that. Who cares. You wouldn't want to be in a company that won't let you speak your mind out of respect. You don't want to be around anybody. It's kind of funny, it's kind of a contradictory, but not really if you pay attention to what I'm saying. People that can't communicate, people that can't build friendships, people that can't have productive conversations because of a little disagreement, that's not the type of people that you want to spend too much time around.
Speaker 2:Now, I'm not saying you should disconnect from them, as Scientology likes to call it, which I am not in alignment with, by the way. You should be able to conversate with people. You should be able to give your opinion with respect, with love, with compassion, and be like hey, I hope you. There's ways to say it and not feel like you're being rude. Or there's ways to say it and not care what other people think. Not caring is just not caring. You need to get in touch with yourself and stop caring what other people think, whether it's your employer, your girlfriend, your parents, your children. I'm not saying you need to be rude. A lot of people get this confused when you're like I don't care what you think about me. It's like that's pretty rude, is it? I don't think so. You shouldn't care what I think about you, right?
Speaker 1:Well, what do you say about? Because then if you just totally are all on your own, thinking just on yourself and not caring what other people think, then you're separating and alienating yourself from society as a whole almost. Can you go too far where now you're just so isolated in your own, or do you have to balance? In certain degrees we have to still care. If you have to wear a suit to work, you can't just show up and abating suit, flip flops every day. Otherwise you can't have that job, no matter how bad you want. If you want to keep that job, you have to abide to some other ways.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that just goes back to knowing yourself and feeling good. You know what I mean. Like, if wearing flip flops and all that is the life you want and makes you feel good, then you should be aiming for that industry that promotes that. But yes, dude, what you're talking about is some people think when I say that they're like now you're starting to not care about people and it sounds like you're getting selfish. Not at all. I'm saying you should care about people's feelings also. So this is a very combined the two.
Speaker 2:Stop caring about what people think about you, but also care about the way they're feeling. Like, care about their feelings. Don't care about something that you're saying is going to affect their. Like, how do I explain this? You can't control how what you're saying is going to project to somebody and how they're going to interpret that. But you can acknowledge it and you can respect it and say look, I totally respect and I hear you and I understand and can see how me saying this might you know, but let me elaborate. I don't want you to think that I'm being a douche on this or whatever.
Speaker 2:Like, I care about your feelings, so I want to communicate about this, but you can still stay on that, like I don't care what you think about me because I know myself, but I care about your feelings, and so let's talk about that?
Speaker 1:Damn dude. Communication is a tricky thing, isn't it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, not really when you break it down the cause. I talk like that to people all the time, man, and not enough talking like that and communication is actually being done. But like, if I was talking to you about that like that way, would you receive it very well? Or like, would you get it when I'm breaking it down like that? Or are you still kind of confused?
Speaker 1:Well, when you, when you kind of explain the process and like understanding, I feel like you're diffusing it but you're still being direct. So you're, you're direct with that little bit of empathy and and either trying to understand or trying to help understand is what I think, and sometimes I feel like people they do try to do that but then I think they rush through it because it does take that extra time, energy to explain when it needs to be explained.
Speaker 2:That's a good point and that goes back to kind of an alignment with what you were saying about people are just on screens too much, checking out of life too much, like you know, getting back in touch with yourself and the relationships that you care about in your life. That involves taking time. That involves donating time. More importantly, if I was to break it down into simpler terms, that involves caring about people. Truly, it's that simple.
Speaker 1:Yeah, um. Well, so you're constantly moving towards this futuristic version of yourself, this vision that you've had, and you're working on creating this. Um, and I'm a big fan of milestones and setting small, like manageable goals. I'm curious, like, how often do you kind of take that second to check in and, and, I guess, re-reflect, I guess maybe to see, hey, am I still making this progress, am I still moving in the right direction, or is it just like, yeah, I know this has happened?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's a great question, cause a lot of people might think I'm out of my mind for this. Um, I went from a person who used to write down my goals every single day, sometimes twice a day, because that's what I was taught by my mentor. Um, again, everything just keeps falling in my lap and coming to me. So, me personally, I don't do it very often. Uh, I do reflect, but I don't need to necessarily, so I did have everything that I was supposed to do is already done, and anything I'm supposed to do, I'm, I'm, I know when to do it. Like, kind of going back to when I tell people like, hey, when your conscience is clear, your intuition is on point, you're going to know when the right communities, the right resources and the right people are going to be placed in front of you at the exact right time. It's going to make sense. You don't have to go chase it looking for it. It's kind of the same thing with me.
Speaker 2:Now, this doesn't work for everybody. I my my path is not the same as yours. My path is not the same as everybody else. Right, and we're all different.
Speaker 2:You know, writing, writing down your goals might be your thing. That might be what you should be doing right now. For me, I don't write down my goals at all now since October or whenever this started happening to me. Um, but I I already had written down my goals prior to that and a lot of them really haven't changed much, and so I had like long-term, short-term financial health goals. It was like a whole broke down uh goal thing that I did on my iPad, and so I reflect on that and I'm like, oh, this is cool, I made this goal up and I'm definitely still on track for this.
Speaker 2:Um, but I don't try to force or push anything and I don't try to man. This is crazy to say this. A lot of people are like they don't understand this. But I don't try to do it myself because I haven't had to. I literally am being guided and, again, without going deep on the spirituality thing, I can see the guidance, so I don't need to force it and I don't need to do anything myself. Not only that, to be frank, I've seen what happens when I try to do it myself and it didn't fucking work okay. So why would I go back to that when everything's working now that I'm paying attention to the guidance? You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, definitely, wow. Yeah, man, I'm excited for you. You got a lot of things going on and I love following you and checking out lives and following you around with things, so I hope we'll hopefully get to connect with you. But before we kind of get into kind of wrapping up because I do want to be curious of your time we're talking a little bit about creating and developing relationships and connecting with people Could you give me like two, three main points or keys that you use when you're developing relationships and like so, if I were to ask you, hey, how do I create better, meaningful relationships? What would be like three things you tell me to do?
Speaker 2:Okay, donate time, okay, you'd be willing to do stuff for free. Now, I'm not saying you need to do stuff for free forever, but in order for you to actually show people you care, sometimes you're gonna have to do some stuff for free. You know what I mean. Like I'm very passionate about that and make yourself available. You know what I mean. So, donating time and doing stuff for free, kind of along the same line.
Speaker 2:So we'll call that the first thing being direct, like we were saying, being direct and also having love and compassion simultaneously with that personal connection. Not and I'm not talking about the type of, the type of direct that like Andy Elliott or Wes Watson or some of these dudes are talking about, where they're flat out bullying you and then they're saying it's cause I care about you, like that, and then you start believing that they care about you. That's Stockholm syndrome. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about being direct, but with love and compassion, without so being direct but caring about the feelings I mentioned. So now I'm being direct because I don't care what you think about me, but I actually care about you, and I'm gonna show you that by actually paying attention to your feelings, not your bank account, like if you're talking especially in business.
Speaker 2:If you're talking about personal connections, a red flag to me is that, look, I'm not here to make friends, I'm here to help your business. That's a red flag to me, like you can't help somebody in their business unless you're willing to be a friend, in my opinion. So I would just focus on caring. It's so simple, right? Some of the stuff I'm telling, I'm explaining right now is like third grade level stuff. Right, it's that simple, it really is. If I was to say a third thing, man, it's definitely knowing yourself. You can't, that's gotta. I'm gonna beat that thing to death, that topic, because it's one of the biggest problems. It is the biggest problem. It usually starts with that, and if you don't know yourself, you're gonna start building relationships on deception. I want people to hear that loud and clear If you don't know yourself and you go into a relationship trying to build something meaningful, it's not authentic, it's not genuine and is built on deception. Therefore, that is not a meaningful relationship. It's never gonna be what it could be.
Speaker 1:Wow, I'm tired of this stuff there. Man, I appreciate that those are some pretty good keys right there. I'm curious because I'm kind of putting something together for a future talk of mine, so I might have to use some of your input there, yeah. And so, like I was saying, I do wanna be curious of your time. Where, how do people get in touch with you If they wanna? Because you got your business coaching. You're getting into the health and wellness kind of coaching and then also the relationship development coaching too. Right is that all still under one umbrella? So if anybody's interested in any of those, they can just reach out to you in the same spot, or no, so I got a lot of things going on.
Speaker 2:So that's my company that's just been restructured, that is still in the works, but the plan going forward is I'm gonna do a retreat for all three of those businesses and the retreat definitely follow me, because these retreats, when we actually announce it and promote it, it's gonna be unlike any other retreat. I promise you that there's so many things that have been coming to me that are very unique and it's gonna show people that we actually care and it's something you're gonna wanna get involved in. So, as far as reaching out to me, so first of all, if anybody heard what I said and find it valuable whether it's life or business and they think I'm a valuable asset to be a friend with, I'm here to donate time. I'm here. I got a system that people can literally log into where they're gonna have me essentially every day type thing. It's got a live group chat, so much is going on in there. I built it with Bradley at Lightspeed and then other stuff I got going on with the retreats. You guys need to just reach out to me to stay up to date with that stuff because it is gonna be massive. So the best way to reach out to me.
Speaker 2:I would say, for anybody watching on the podcast, rob is probably my Instagram, which is benjamonjohnmic, and follow me there. All my links are in the bio there and I'm awesome. I'll even put my phone number. This is how authentic I am. Nobody does this. My phone number is 3607289681. You text me or you call me, you're gonna actually get me and I'm actually gonna pick up the phone. You're not gonna get anything automated for me and, yeah, a lot of people are scared to do that, but I'm not.
Speaker 1:Wow, yeah, a lot of people won't do that, and I respect that courageous movement there. So there you go, guys. So when I get in touch with Ben man, shoot him a text, follow him on Instagram, reach out to him. He's literally giving you free time. So if you've got any questions or anything, make sure you touch base with him. Plus, he's just genuinely a great guy, so talk to him about pretty much anything. He's a go-to dude. So before I let you go, though, I got one question I gotta ask. I kind of already feel like I know what the answer is, but if you were to give one piece of advice in order to survive the side hustle, what would that be?
Speaker 2:Gosh, you're gonna make me pick one. You know I'll talk about something. We didn't talk about this enough. I'm gonna go to passion on this one, cause I think I've already talked about knowing yourself and conscience and all that. Let's go to passion. There's a lot of people out here that are not passionate about anything. They're regurgitating too much stuff, right. Let me give you an example. There's a lot of people that will see someone like Martin Luther King or you know someone who's trying to end slavery or really stop the racism. And there's someone like Susan B Anthony, who's trying to get women to have voting rights. Right, we'll see that. We'll be like, yeah, go get them, but nobody speaks about it. Nobody lives their life that way. We're all they all want to advocate and stay in the shadows and cheer. Get loud about something, man. Get passionate about something. Everybody can feel that you're lacking passion. It's because you don't know yourself and you're regurgitating what you're taught. Start saying your own things and start knowing yourself and start thinking for yourself.
Speaker 1:Don't love that. All right, man, I appreciate it. Everybody there. You go, Call them on social media, reach out to them, shoot them a text, shoot them a call. Ben dude, I can't wait to meet up with you again in person, hopefully sometime soon. Until then, thank you so much for taking the time today to hop on and share a lot of value with me and with everybody else here at Surviving Sidehouse. So looking forward to talking to you again soon, dude 100%, brother.
Speaker 2:I appreciate you and I'm grateful for your friendship, man. Thank you All right man, peace, peace, peace, see ya.